FML

I have nothing good in my life. I am like peter klaven, except I have no female friends either. My thumb is in an awful condition now because of a favor I did for my grandma back in may. My eyeglasses set crooked on my ears. I embarrassed a nearly illiterate kid in a class today. The only people who want to talk to me are mexicans. The only people who look at my online dating profile are spammers who want my email so they can spam me. I have some unwarranted outlandish reputation with a bunch of my brothers fraternity morons. I have a useless college degree that gets me the same job as any person with any bachelor degree. I didn't market any beans and the market has gone down a dollar since last friday. I like having a head of hair, but it gets thinner the longer I go without a haircut. Most of my hats don't fit me right because my head is oddly shaped. I have no appreciable skills beside knowing something about farming, which is the same skill set as old folks who have never done anything else in their lives. I need to quit watching tv and just go to bed at 8 pm everynight of the week. I look forward to watching saturday night live, when it is usually so dull I fall asleep. Facebook sends me things saying that my friends think I am unhookupable(?), and that I am unpopular and not outgoing, but am a best friend and have a good sense of humor. I bought concert tickets and have no body to go with. I have to jog in the dark because my treadmill destroyed enough wiring that I lost the use of two ceiling fans. My truck is dirty as hell and I have no real reason to clean it. My local pro sports teams are perennially awful, but I do like going to games. Convincing other people to go with me is like twisting their arms, and if my family found out I was willing to go alone, it would be like the spanish inquisition, so I stay home. I applied for a job, didn't get a call back, they didn't hire anyone and they reposted the job again. So I reapplied. My mii on wii fit is a near obese round residual self image. I cannot think of my own strengths or weaknesses when asked at a job interview. I read in an internet meme that LOL now also means "I have nothing else to say and don't care to advance the conversation," so I don't like instant messaging anymore. Text messaging is the hippest thing around, but I have an awful phone for that and don't want to spend 10 dollars a month for an unlimited plan.

In other news, FML.