In which I am not being very smart

My wife has picked up a trend that I have not yet realized. I get stuck on an idea in my head and commit to doing that idea without fail or others input. The issue is that I ask for input, and then purposefully ignore it. I don't know if this is something I learned from my dad. I have talked about our relationship on the blog before and Amanda has mentioned that he seems to do the same to me when he gets an idea. I am upset that I am doing this to her. On one hand, she wants me to make decisions and be the man of the house. On the other hand I want to involve her in decisions, but all she seems interested in doing is being polite and deferring an opinion. I haven't figured out how to negotiate such situations yet. Things progress around the house, she has a schedule in mind but is only willing to say the schedule once. I can't comitt them to memory right away and we get in the spot we are in now.

On a more exciting front, the baby bean is getting bigger and better every day. Amanda talked to the Dr. at the last appointment about her insomnia, and things have seem to have got better for her on that issue. It probably has more to do with the second trimester starting than any advice the Dr. gave her. I wish there was more she would let me do for her, but I am usually at a loss for when or where to offer assitance or comforts. We are planning on renovating the upstairs part of the house to better suit a third person. This means a bathroom, some closet space, and more bedroom square feet for us when the baby person grows into their own room. I am getting more excited about the baby as it gets closer and closer. The best part is how excited Amanda is to give me the updates and all the talk she has about everything else happening with her. We got some baby gifts for christmas this year and it is all becoming more and more exciting.

I am getting some full time work at the post office starting at the end of the week. The lady that I usually sub for is having some type of surgery and will need six weeks of rest. I like working and doing the mail, but after this committment I am going to have to consider full time work. The postmaster wants to train me on the other routes which will mean continuos work if I want it. I can't think that mail delivery or teaching is better or worse than the other. I think I might have an easier or quicker time with the teaching route so that will be researched more heavily. Mail delivery might be more dangerous due to all the miles on the road, but teaching is probably more stressful. 

I also managed to piss off my mom on christmas. Amanda wasn't up for more Hauke family time after all the thanksgiving and christmas events we attend. I talked ourselves out of going to one of her families events, and she wasn't up for anything more that day. I thought she needed more time and she would want to go to my parents last event. So I lied to my attending/wondering callers and said Amanda was sick and we would come by when she felt better. This lasted until about for about three hours before Amanda got angry and told me to go on my own. By the time I showed, most everything had happened, and my mom is now pissed at us for not fullfilling her desires to their totality. The worst part of it is mom was real excited about the gift that she had got Amanda and now neither one of them wants anything to do with the gift. Mom was also excited about the blanket that her aunt made for me when I was still in the womb. Mom gave it to me as a gift, but Amanda is indifferent to anything that occurs in such a manner. It has been setting in the box on the table ever since she told me didn't want to hear anything about anything that happened while I was there. I don't know when any of this will be resolved.

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Clocking In

It has been a while since I have last blogged. Things have been busy around here. The main busy part is between being a good husband and working up to being a father. Amanda and I are expecting a baby the first part of July. We have known since the end of october and have been making plans and working towards having as much ready as possible when the time comes. I am looking forward to it, being more of a family man and father is going to be a great challenge and thrill. I know that I have many responsibilites towards my wife, but a child that is dependent on someone else for everything is going to be a great experience. I think the best part of this whole deal is that I am going to help Amanda with her dream of being a mother. I think that is the most exciting thing of all this, getting to watch my wifes dream come true.

We have also finished all our crops and are having a really good year in that regard. I think I might end up losing money I my beans that I delay priced when the price was high. The way the market looks now, it might be lat summer before they get back to a price I would like. I need to be more cautious with my money if I want to wait until then to get how much I would like. My tobacco has been all worked over and sold. The tobacco sold real well and we got the new big baler that all the modern burley farmers are using. My brother and I pushed real hard for the monetary incentive and the labor savings. So far those seem to be holding up.

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the smartest man

My wife has said on more than one occasion that I am the smartest man she knows, after her dad. Despite my status, I keep making mistakes that upset her more than I care to see her upset. I can sit on the couch for two days and do very little, which was taken two ways. I was either relaxing after working strenuosly to get the tobacco in, or consciously ignoring her honey-do list. I can also manage to take her up on an offer she suggested and then having her be dissatisfied with that decision.

She has taken this inaction as a sign that I don't consider her at all. The occasions I described are not limited to those two, and likely won't be the last two. I fell into todays trap when she said not to worry about coming out to see her, and I didn't come. I used the word bellyache on the phone today and its going to bite me in the rear end for some time now. She thinks I am choosing myself all the time. On occasion I have been put in the place of choosing between doing what she is saying not doing what she is saying. I am not sure how to react to such an event now. She did preface today phone call with an important event that she hoped I would come to and was all set to hit the road and get to, but I mucked it up when a choice came my way.

The worst part is I don't get the chance to talk to her as I'm blogging like this. She regards herself as highly stubborn, and I can't compete with that. She's willing to sit in silence and then run down everything I try to say. I love herand all I know how to do is forget about what happened and try to enjoy the time I get with her. I watched the movie hall pass tonight and the lesson was once you have that person in your life, willing to be your spouse, you need to put them above all else. The guys didn't realize that until after they saw what was out there. I don't know whats out there to be seen, I have what I need in Amanda. 

Most often when she comes home I can't really decide what type of mood she is or might be in. She is usually exhausted from driving nearly three hours every day, and working at a job she loves but really dislikes her boss. I can't wait to see her and engage her about all the topics of the day, but its a real risk to be ambitous and try to over-engage in daily life with her. I usually lose my desire to blog after getting to pick her mind for a while.

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Getting by

We finished up the 2011 tobacco crop up, harvest wise last saturday. We had a pretty good year, we kept enough help hired that the work wasn't unbearably hard at any particular time. I started looking for a big baler on craigslist, but haven't found any luck with anything affordable yet.

I spent the last two days prepping for an interview to win grant money for a new piece of equipment for the farm. I am pretty excited about having new tillage equipment on the farm, and having a big percentage of the loan paid off by a grant would be a big help. I found out I had to be interviewed last week, but didn't really have any idea what type of questions would be asked. It turned out they wanted to know about the piece of equipment, why it would be useful, and how long it would stay on the farm. I think the interview went well, but I have to appear better than eight other people who were granted interviews.

Speaking of farming, I don't know how much longer I will be farming. I am looking for full time work as a teacher, and may have to move away to reasonably accomadate that ambition. At first it may just be as a resume builder until a local job opens up. Amanda doesn't really like moving and changing homes all that much, so we'll just have to see what happens.

Two months in, marriage is going pretty good. Its really nice to have a partner for the rest of my life such as Amanda. Things are a little different than before, when we were cohabitating, and I think they are for the better. The stress of her work and commute is starting to get to her though. I imagine I would be pretty unhappy if I spent nearly three hours a day on the road, and had to work in the conditions she has to. She had the chance to work a little closer to here over the summer, but decided that the offer wasn't for her and turned it down. This is apparently now the slow season so now not many places are looking for any extra help. I am optimistic that things will get better, but I don't think Amanda is holding out as much hope.

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The Proposal

The proposal happened nearly just the way that Amanda had unknowingly described to me just how she thought a great proposal would be. I had casually thrown some questions in from time to time about how she thought a good proposal would be in her eyes. With that in mind, I found a free afternoon/day and went ring shopping.

I had FB messaged her sister a couple of days ahead and we agreed to meet at a pre-shopped place in good ole Chillicothe. We meet and had lunch, and then headed over to the store. Luckily they still had a ring that Amanda liked on a previous visit still in stock. The ring came in under budget for what I thought an engagement ring was going to cost, so I was pretty encouraged about that. Mee's had to clean up the ring some, so I headed over to a store and picked up the new lonely island cd. After some time we went back and picked up the ring. Her sister had recommended that I stop and talk to their parents. We stopped and made some small talk, showed off the ring, asked permissions and then went on my way.

Since this was the middle of May, and I had been requested to wait until after Amandas nephews baptism at the end of the month. I had at first planned on waiting another day or so, but eventually got to excited and did the proposal first thing Monday morning after the baptism. I got out of bed ahead of Amanda, retrieved my ring from its hiding spot, and then set the box down on the table where Amanda would discover it. She at first walked by it, so I had to keep an eye on her and watch if she had ever spied it. She walked by the table another time, and went into the kitchen, so I had to pick up the box and get behind her and get her attention. When she turned around, I presented her the box, she asked what it was, and I responded by asking her what she thought it was. I then let her think about it for a moment, and asked if she will marry me and be my wife. She said, "yes, of course." From there she tried it on, and we had a normal day from there on out.

I tried to call my mom, right soon after the proposal, but she didn't answer. Amanda called her parents, told them the good news, and got in contact with the rest of her family also. She wanted to surprise her co-workers so she didn't say anything on the FB until the holiday weekend was over. I still had to show up for work at the greenhouse, so off I went. I told my grandmother since she was there, she wished me the best of luck. I kept busy making some boxes, and kept up with the latest news sports radio. Eventually I got tired of waiting on my mom to call back so I texted her the news and then she found the time to call me. Eventually she called my other siblings and had them call me and ask me what the news was. I told them the news, and kept with my day at the greenhouse. I eventually had to drive out and pick up dad from the fields, so Amanda and me went and picked him up and gave him the news. Sometime later I told my grandpa and from there on out the word spread that we were an angaged couple and the wedding planning commenced.

Married life is great thus far. Amanda seems more concerned about financial considerations than what I thought she was going to be. This will get worked out eventually, I have faith that it will be.

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The honeymoon

I realized that I forgot to talk about our honeymoon in my last posting. Sometime this spring, we had decided to take a vacation that got us away from the house and as much else as possible. Amanda didn't or wouldn't give me any ideals as to what she would have liked to do, so I checked the reds schedule and thought a vacation in pittsburgh when the reds were playing the pirates would be a good vacation. I wasn't sure that such a destination was what she had in mind, but she agreed and we settled on that. After the proposal (good idea for another post) we blended the vacation into a honeymoon, more at my urging than hers. That was one of the reasons the engagment was such a short period, her time away from work and my leisurely mid to late july's worked out just right for 7-17-11.

We arranged for my youngest sister to come in and lord over the cats a couple of times, walterdog went to my parents for the week, and the rest of the dogs were sent to her parents for some of their own vacation. Monday morning we loaded up and took off. I thought she would like to go to bob evans down in Rio Grande and see some of the sights there, so after we unloaded at her parenst, us and the gift card headed down 35 and took in the sights. I had never realized that bob evans meats had such a prescence in homes as it did, the restauranteering never took off until the 70's after a unreliable pig market.

After the delicous dine and tour, we made our way to Pittsburgh, arriving just in time for a storm front to move in and delay the start of the game. We hadn't figured out the driving in Pittsburgh and were relying on taxis and hotel shuttles to move us around. This got us to the game just as the first rain delay was over, and in time for the first inning to start and then get delayed again for rain. Luckily we had ordered seats way in the back, under the overhang, so we stayed dry the whole time. Unfortunately, before the 7th inning stretch, it was after 11 and we were both bed ready. Tuesday we slept in, hung out at the hotel pool and caught the second reds loss of our trip. Wednesday I gambled and decided that driving and parking would be an okay thing. Parking and breakfast went good, we had an excellent breakfast at a place called pamelas. Then we attempted to get parked for the game and that was a nightmare. My gps doesn't know which bridges are closed, I wanted to get close to the stadium, and I can't pay enough attention in bumper to bumper traffic. Finally we made it to the stadium, saw the reds win, and got back to the hotel and ordered in pizza. Thursday we had to ourselves to do more touristy things. The bird sanctuary we saw was really cool, but a bit smaller than I had imagined. It might have been better if we were able to see the shows that had been cancelled for the day. We then went to a jerome bettis sponsored/themed restaurant, Amanda had the best meal she has had in a long while, some type of flat bread with marghereta toppings. Afterwards we did some shopping, and then seen what was probably the second best part of the trip, a distant second to being newlyweds, the andy warhol museum. Admittedly, I was more interested in the history of the person than the art, and I was glad we took the time and did a 2 and a half hour walking tour. We stopped at the store on the way out and picked out what the clerk thought were the best two books. This escalated into an evening at a very fine dining seafood place, a scary ride on an incline, and then going back to the hotel.

I had considered taking a detour to canton for the football hall of fame, but when the time came I was more interested in getting home. The trip home went fine, all the critters were glad to be back in our company and we had the majority of the weekend to continue on a lay around lazy time. It was great.

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Married

I am now part of the married community, thanks to the efforts of the now named vet assistant, Amanda. I bought the ring back in the middle of may, proposed on memorial day, and was married on 7-17-11. Amanda made a huge effort to plan nearly everything in that six week span, and it turned out really great. We found a convenient venue, a pastor for a civil ceremony, decorations and food in all that time. Amanda looked great in her dress, and she even said "I do" when the big moment came, even though she had some tears during the ceremony. I sure did get nervous when she was teared up, I couldn't tell what was going on with the glare from the sun.

We settled on a civil ceremony after talking to Father Mike one friday morning. He assured us that being civilly married was fine, as was all other aspects of a civil marriage, in the eyes of the catholic church. Once we get the paperwork done for anulling Amandas previous marriage, we can go ahead and have a religous ceremony and be married in the eyes of the church and God. Now that we have surpassed the crunch of that shortened schedule we will be able to get that done.

We agreed on such a short engagement time for a couple of reasons. The main reason being that being engaged for a long amount of time seems kind of silly to me at least. I had already decided that marriage was what I wanted, and I didn't see the reasoning behind waiting several months.

Amanda is really looking forward to having childeren also. I think her greatest ambition in life is to be a great mother. While I do look forward to having kids, I would like to be more financially secure. I think a child would be a great blessing, and I am fairly confident that some families have children with less that what we have. Farming keeps the bills paid for me and one other person, but getting up to three and four people is going to be very tight. With that being said, I have been much more aggressive in job hunting. I applied for a Kentucky teaching license, looked at jobs elsewhere, and am keeping on the ball with other states also. A full time teaching job most likely means a move at this point. I am not opposed to moving, but I haven't decided what that would mean for farming ambitions. If I moved could I keep my stake in what we do? Would my two brothers take over and become more involved? How permenant would a job be? Would I move back if a more desirable teaching position became available after a couple of years? Are we going to expand our acreage or keep the status quo? Does my dad still think doing things the hard way is the way to maintain a healthy physique?  Would I be willing to come back if some ideas aren't implemented? The post office job is great, but I spent five grand on a car and have only made about 25 hundred thus far. They also have to make cuts and aren't hiring full time help for the past several years.

I also want to get some thoughts out about some conditions Amanda implemented. The first condition I am fine with, but the alcohol thing is getting to me. I thought I did a reasonable job of moderation, but Amanda was discontent with my moderation so I am now a sober personality. The more I think about it, I realize that I shouldn't be to upset. I have a happy wife who goes to church with me. I don't spend any money on booze. I can take up other money making interests when/if I get away from farming, such as officiating whatever else I might think of. I have a reason to be like I was pre-21, staying home and not being social. The best reason that I had to tolerate some social events was that I could drink and enjoy myself, but that is gone now, so I can be a hermit with a wife. 

I am also now an uncle. My pharmacist sister and her husband had a baby girl on 7/14, named Alyssa. When Amanda and me first started planning the wedding, the due date was the 3rd, and as time went along the baby never came. Due to the proximity of the dates, they weren't able to make the wedding, but the care of a newborn is more important than attending an event.

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An Interview

This morning I have a job interview at HHS. I saw the posting last week and got my application in the last day that applications were allowed. I'm really hopeful that I can get this job for several reasons. The main reason being is that I will be more able to support a wife and family. Farming is a nice little hobby, but a steady paycheck and additional benefits has its rewards. Secondly, I need to find a way to univolve myself from farming some. Dad and grandpa think they are genuises of the farming world, but I look at how much they struggle with things and the physical shape they are in and I don't want that for me. I also miss the structure of having regular work. Around here I can sleep in and do what I want most of the time without any consequence.

I have also been given an ultimatum that I am accepting. Between alcohol and being with someone I love, the chance of love wins out. Sure, I am going to miss some things that I enjoyed doing and having a few adult beverages during, but those times are out the door and new past times are in.

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Comics

This weekend I went and seen a superhero movie at the drive in with the now fiance vet assistant. As I was watching Green Lantern, I had to wonder why I missed out on all these good stories that have been in comic books for the majority of my life. I remember when I was younger being so excited to watch x-men and spiderman cartoons on TV, not because I wanted to get out of work, but because I thought the stories were so great. How would my life be different now if I had decided that sports weren't worth the effort and instead buried myself in the literature of superhero fiction? I wouldn't have gotten a free pass to be on my own at the house, and would really have about the same access to comic and reading materials. I think I would have been happier though. Even today, I can't usually wait to get in the house and read the new Naruto comic. The story lines and intrigue really get to me. I usually enjoy the new movies about the characters I don't know all that much about.

Wedding planning has moved forward also. We met with my preacher this past friday and he was very helpful and had useful information for the both of us. As we expected, an anullment will have to be granted before we can have a religous ceremony, but we can marry as a civil couple and still be in good standing in our church. I am very optimistic that our Pittsburgh vacation is going to serve as our honeymoon also. The guest list is going to be very small, I don't want a large crowd to deal with. We also agreed that a long engagement period was not for us, which is why we are planning on such a short time span. Thats all for now, I wanted to get a couple of thoughts down on the blog.

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What to do

The past three days have been very busy and revealing for me. Lets start with my engagement and marriage thoughts. Me and the vet assistant sat down last night and talked some things over. We both are in wanting of a small wedding. We had to take a break for me to think over how important it was to be married in a church and so forth. I think I want to have my religions blessing on my marriage. I'm confident an anullment will clear up any issues, but don't want being married to the girl I choose to be impeded by such an issue. I was optimistic we could have something official accomplished before our Pittsburgh vacation, but am not sure if things will be rolling enough by then or not.

Farming wise, relations have took a downhill. My grandfather told me I might as well quit farming if I can't listen to his novel non-sensical spoutings and complete them to his liking. My dad has insisted on asking if I am stupid yet again. I can ask my grandpa the simplest thing that I think makes sense, and grandpa acts as if all logic is beyond my comprehension. My mind has settled on I have a college degree and a graduate degree and don't have to listen to them belittle me. As soon as I can find a teaching job just about anywhere, I may be having a new address. I may still have obligations to my landlords for the 2011 crop, but once those are done it might just be a teachers salary and a hard budget for us. For me, the advantages of being my own boss are starting to be outweighed by the advantages of a defined schedule and pay. Why do I need to put up with such incosistent practices and poor attitudes towards mentoring and fostering someone that shows up and helps them everyday.

Because of the recent events, I was reminded of an awesome song that I think is about growing up and learning to be your own person. The song is called "Wind" by akeboshi. I first saw it at the end of the naruto anime and grew to really like it. Wind as in wind a watch, not the wind is blowing.

Cultivate your hunger, before you idealize
Motivate your Anger, to make them all realize
Climbing the mountain, never coming down
break into the contents, never falling down

My knee is still shaking like i was twelve
Sneakin' out the classroom, by the back door
A man railed at me twice, though
But i didn't care
Waiting is wasting, for people like me

Don't try to live so wise,
Don't cry 'cos your so right
Don't dry, with fakes or fears
'cos you will hate yourself in the end

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Engaging

Monday morning I started a new chapter in my life. I proposed to the vet assistant and she said yes. She had picked out a ring several months ago while out shopping with her sister, and the ring was still available when I went shopping at Mees. We haven't really set the date or size and scope of a wedding yet.

The return to the dirt world also happened yesterday. We worked over the tobacco ground and are going to get a good start today. We haven't done anything with any beans or corn yet. At this points planting corn is going to cost us more money than the final yield will bring in. Luckily or not, our insurance policy is based on county average yield. So if we can grow an average crop, we may be able to collect from our policy.

Well that is it for today, I have several things to do this morning before we get started setting tobacco.

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Vacationing

I am planning a vacation with the vet assistant for the end of july. She usually takes time off about every six months or so and allowed me to put forth some ideas as to where we could go. I had thought about pulling my dads camper out to Shawnee State Park. I had also always been interested in seeing baseball games at other cities. In the end, we have decided to go to Pittsburgh and catch the Reds-Pirates series at the end of July. My ultimate ambition is to try and catch all three games, not have to drive all over the place, and catch most of the area highlights. I'm not really interested in nightlife all that much, maybe some museums or attractions would be just fine. Just from looking at a map of nearby hotels near the stadium, I can see several park areas, and a couple of museums. We might be able to see even more if taxis become accepted in the mind of the vet assistant. I am really looking forward to it. Hopefully by then all the farm obligations will be satisfied for a couple of days. I am also expecting that my niece or nephew is born by then and that the old folks will be thoroughly distracted by the attention of a new member to the family. The vet assistant has got her sister to agree to come house sit for us also. I would eventually like to get out to St. Louis and Busch Stadium, but that might be another time for another year.

In other news, a family member has died. My grandfathers sister in law died this previous sunday and things are in motion. It was a pretty bad situation really. She had some form of alzheimers and eventually kidney failure sent her to the hospital this past weekend. Boy(his nickname), isn't all there either, but is in relatively good condition for being in his 80's. The thing I don't get is what my grandparents and such are thinking. They are wanting to blame the one daughter for not taking better care of the two, while the two boys seem to be off the hook. I can't or don't really see how parental care is strictly an woman issue. If I was capable and my grandparents were in bad shape, I wouldn't wait for my sisters to show up and interact with my grandparents or parents. As the vet assistant said, it might be more of a generation thing, with them thinking the women should be president of such concerns.

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bunch of questions

I just finished watching the social network movie and thought it was really good. I have to wonder what I would be like if I had a good idea such as Facebook and was able to capitalize on it. Would the stress of maintaining and building upon an idea be something that I could do? Could I weasel my way around people like that and feel okay about it? What would I do if all that money was coming in?

I'm having enough stress now with all the rain and worrying about the effort needed to get the crops out. This time last year, we were over half done and really just coasting along. At this point, we need a week of no rain, high winds and even then we won't get done until june. The longer it takes us to get the crops out, the fewer days we will have for a full grown crop. The biggest question is what will happen if we don't get any crops out? Is my insurance good enough to cover such a loss?

Things are looking bad that way, it seems the past few years have been good and it wasn't really enough to give me the financial security I would hope for. I have to wonder what my life would be like if all I had to do was come home after work and not do anything. Would I be able to seperate myself from everything and free myself from such extra work? Really for me the best part of my day is getting to be done for the day. I can't wait to get home and do what I want to do. I could excercise more when I wanted and finish/work on any other projects I would like to get done.

It would also seem that buying a diesel truck was a good idea. Diesel fuel is cheaper than gas and has been for the past week. So, not only am I driving the most fuel efficient truck on the farm, it is also the cheaper fuel at the moment. If I could figure out or decide why my exhaust temperature gauge isn't working, I'd be in good shape.

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rain rain go away, come again another day

The record setting amount of rain we have recieved this april of 2011 is really disrupting everything. Last year we had all the corn in the field by now and were preparing for bean planting. This year we haven't got the first tractor in the field. The planting season is going to get to the point where things are going to have to be rushed to get done, and I don't particularly like being rushed and working in the dark. I can't really see all that well with my night blindness, and by that time its a struggle to stay awake and alert anyways.

The greenhouse business is also suffering from the wet weather. Our annual sale was very hampered by the wet weather. Not being able to get in their flower patches and being able to work would keep people away, I'm not really surprised by the lack of customers. For the first time in the 20 odd years the greenhouse has been going, the annual sale also happened on Easter weekend. This likely had something to do with the amount of customers that showed up also.

Otherwise things are looking up. I've seen some info about some full time jobs nearby and the post office job is getting a little easier. I haven't been subbing near as much as I have in the past, but when teachers need time off is really out of my control.

Things with the vet assistant have been going really well. I'm able to laugh and enjoy myself around her all the time now.

I'm also ready to get out of my current phone contract. The advantages offered by todays smartphones are being outweighed by the ability to use a walkie talkie. I still have at least eleven months left with nextel and would like to get an iphone. I have some version of a droid for nextel now and am not all that impressed with the interface and operating system. The network that nextel uses to get data to my phone is just very slow and inadequate.

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fasting and mailing

Two wednesdays ago I did something that I had not did to my knowledge in my lifetime. I went to Ash Wednesday service per my catholic committment and father announced at the end of the service that I/we should be fasting for that day also. I had already ate breakfast at this point, so I quickly ascertained that I had to skip the next three meals and only drink water. No snacks, not even eating fish that I thought I was going to be allowed to. At first it was more diffucult than I thought, especially since I had to go to Athens and stat up a basketball game. By the time morning had came around, I wasn't really all that famished and was doing fine with the fast.

I started my post office temporary rural carrier job this week also. So far the first couple of days of training have been a struggle to stay awake and sit through safety talks and defensive driving videos. Next week should be more engaging since I will be taking some rural academy driving course which should be better all the way around. The more I learn about the USPS job the more excited I am about starting and thinking about a career in the job. Right now I can't think of any reason why driving a mail route is better or worse than teaching. My decision may come down to which job I can get on for full time first. With driving a mail route I get to listen to my satellite radio all day long, but could get run over at any of my potential 500 plus stops. I don't have to deal with kids all day long, but I do have to work until after 4 or later in the day. I am a bit enamored with how the mail is actually sorted. The whole process is automated, even the letters that can't be coded by the machines. The machine unreadable items are photographed and sent to a relay screen where a person types in their best guess of the items destination.

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Vacation days

Well this past weekend I snuck off and took what would be considered vacation days. I don't really know if I deserve vacation time though. I have not been actively working and spend a fair amount of time on the couch, doing very little of anything. At any rate I took off and went down to Shawnee State for a 3 day 2 night lay around. All I managed to accomplish was eat breakfast with the vet assistant and watch season 1 of dexter in its entirety. While I did enjoy this, I could have done this at home. I will have to choose a more active location next time with better weather. The weather was at least heavy hooded sweatshirt weather all weekend.

I have lately been crunching numbers for our tobacco crop this past year. Knowing and determining how much was paid out is not the problem. The issue I and by default my bosses are having is who paid what and when. I kept good records of my harvest back in late august and have all I need to know. The stripping is fine up until we started stripping my dads pounds. The general rule of thumb is that we pay for all of our labor out of the greenhouse account, then write a check back when all is said and done. I know grandpa took out 5 grand before him and grandma left for florida, and then dad used up all the remaining cash and started using from his own account. So in effect, I now have to calculate how much is owed and spent where. This wouldn't be so bad but the bosses are just going to make me do it all over again and then not read any single thing I have prepared for them.

I am also starting a job with the post office soon. I applied and passed a driving test, so I am in for as long as I want. I am not sure how this will interfere with my attempts at being a substitute teacher. The postmaster I interviewed with acted as if I should keep my day free until after 8:30 am. I am usually subbing at school by that time. If I try and do both, eventually someone's proverbial toe is going to be stepped on. I am still going to attempt to look for full time work, really in either job oppurtunity. I am going to go ahead and get a car that I can drive on a mail route. On craigslist I can get a car with high miles on the engine for under two grand, so it won't be that much of a hit on my money account.

times typed "oftern"-0

All done for a while

Well we have finished up the tobacco stripping. It turned out to take longer than I thought it would. With the help we had we didn't need to push them for more hours and aggravate them. As my dad said, "We're lucky to have help." The worst part of the season is that we aren't going to qualify for insurance payments. We had tobacco that PMI didn't want to buy, sold that for less than half of our usual price and weren't able to have a claim. I don't see why I need to spend money on such an elaborate policy if the end result is I have a claim and the insurance guy says no I don't. Dad also seems to think he/we aren't going to quit growig tobacco. I was/am planning on fullfilling my three year contract and am not sure what I am going to do after that. Ideally I would have a full time teaching job by then, or have saved enough money to buy some farmable land and not be dependent on such hard physical labor.

In other news, I am taking a job with the post office. It is for a sub type position job where I will work someones route on their day off. It is hourly pay, and I will likely have to buy my own mail car. The job does have no benefits and pays hourly. It may not be much, but work is work and if I find a full time job, I can always quit or resign when I find better work.

In other news, I have decided to buy an aluminum flatbed for my truck. Last week I made a mistake and got a wagon up against the side of my truck bed. I called my insurance company, they took a look at it and wrote me a chech for enough to cover the purchase price of the bed. All I am going to have to cover is the cost of installation. The truck is going to have a real nice look to it, and it seems like I have got the highway fuel economy up also. So all in all I am going to be done spending money on it for a while.

I also read a good article when I got in today. This guy decided that he needed to take a break from drinking and realized how it hurt his dating potential. All the women he went out with drank to much for him to morally try to make a move on them. He didn't feel right about going in for a kiss with a woman who was several drinks into her night. He found that he couldn't even date or go to bars and be social anymore. It became very difficult for him to feel relaxed and comfortable around people when he was sober. All of the anxiety he would normally have was put aside when out being social and he lost that when he would ease up and imbibe.

I have recently gone sober also, but the reason is to prove that I don't need or have to drink alcohol. I planning on going until at least June, and then will get back on my usual one or two drinks at home a week schedule, and occasional no more than a six pack of beer on the weekends at home thing. This also extends to the beer or two when I'm out to dinner. The only real issue I am going to have is two events this june or very near to it. My youngest brother is graduating undergraduate school soon, and my youngest sister is turning 21 and wants to have a three kegger party somewhere somehow. I have an empty keg in the basement that is doing me no good, so I may get it filled up and then taking it in to get my refund after the party season.

times typed "oftern"

not the best week

Well this past week is not going to make my top 5 weeks by any stretch of the imagination. Tuesday I took a pickup truck load of tobacco to the tobacco warehouse and ended up bringing most of the load back. I had another appointment scheduled for the next day and ended up taking all of my tobacco out in a last ditch effort to sell the last of it. That did not go all that well and I ended up selling the last of the tobacco at the open market warehouse. This was not all that terrible, but it brought about .90 cents less than what I was getting at the regular warehouse. Then the next day my dad took a load down of his own tobacco and was able to sell most of it.

In another fit of bad luck or poor planning, I also wrecked my truck on thursday. I was driving up a lane on a hill, and my front wheels started to slip. I stopped, put the truck in 4x4 drive, and then procedded to slide down the hill backwards and was ultimately stopped when the wagon I was pulling got turned around and lifted the rear driver side wheel off of the ground. This also bunched up the back corner of my truck bed also, causing a need for some body work to be done in the near future.

I also decided to spend some time on the treadmill today. I hadn't been on in a while, and was starting to feel a llittle heavy. I have been standing around and stripping tobacco and overeating more than I should also.

times typed "oftern"-0

Starting a streak.

Well last night I seemed to have made a big mistake. I was at my parents and saw they had a four loko drink sitting in the fridge, so I asked dad if it was his or anybodys that he knew of. I then made an effot to further decieve the vet assistant and got to drink about half the can before my loose lips sunk that ship. We then had a talk about the events leading up to dinner, and why I feel the need to imbibe alcohol whenever I am out of the house and have the chance to drink. That is true, I do enjoy having a budweiser with my restaurant meals. I can't think of the last time I had more than one tall glass of beer while out to eat, that is now besides the point. I have now decided to start another sobriety streak, similar to what I last did in the summer of 2009. I poured out all the liqour I had in the house, and am now going to drink water 90% of the time. I now have to wonder what the lethal upper limit on water is.

In other news, I decided to get a new phone. My blackberry wasn't holding up to all the dust and dirt I was around. The trackball kept getting stuck in one direction, and I was down to one friend on the bbm. I found a new phone from nextel, that has direct connect, qwerty keyboard, and is rugged. It should be in by either today or tomorrow, so my blackberry era is going to end by the end of the week.

times typed "oftern"-0

Resolutions

The new year has started and as with tradition, I need to resolve to do something differently. I personally have decided that I need to spend less on my credit card. I looked through all my statements and spent a reasonable amount on eating out, didn't spend a great amount on groceries, and will probably spend much less on home improvements this year. Depending on how I look at things, two items accounted for 12% of my CC spending. I think the biggest cutback will be walmart and other such stores. That was a big chunk of my spending, and will be the biggest cut this year. However, the biggest addition may be automobile spending. Diesel fuel will cost more at every fill up, though fill ups should not be as frequent in my future.

What I really am looking forward to this year is being more of a mechanic on my new truck. I can't help but look up how to do repairs and improvements on my new automobile. This may mean spending more on my own parts and supplies. I also will likely be struggling to learn all the ins and outs of what to do and not do, but there are several guides and such material on the internet for me to study and learn. Once I get all my current loans payed off, a garage will have to be in order to do all of the maintenance. I will have to be more like my relative who doesn't have cable either and just goes and works on something else instead of watching TV in the evenings.

times typed "oftern"-0