Juxtaposition

Juxtapositions are when two things are compared in such a way to connect or distinguish them. I have a thought for a while that serves this purpose well. When facebook first came out, I was doing my student teaching. At the time groups were the cool thing to do to let people know what you like or your hobbies. Nowadays you have the "like" option. People don't join groups for their cause, they "like" the cause. I am more in favor of groups. I think they are better and serve the facebook community very well. It used to be fun to go to a friends page and see what fun groups they are in. It feels a bit creepy to do that nowadays, but I don't really look at profiles much more anyways, all the news I want is on the home page. 

In an update to my "Dogs Around" post, there are now two new Hauke dogs around to talk about. My younger brother inherited a pugle dog named Lexie because my youngest brother volunteered him. Lexie is a pretty cool puppy, but is not house broken yet so she spends most of her time chained up. She reminds me of a small mitzie, they are both the same color, one is just about 4 times bigger. My married sister has also recently got another dog. This would be her third dog, but I believe this ones stay is pending on how he plays with the other two dogs. Stella is the name of their new dog. She is a rescue I suppose and would be described as some type of sheep dog I think. Stella should get actual dog sized and not some miniature version of what a dog should be. I have the theory that since she and her husband now have three dogs, one of them must really not want kids. They got the first dog after he proposed and still in college. The second dog came a couple of months after they got married and the third dog about a month after their 2 year anniversary. 

lamentation

Lamentation is an act or expression of sadness or distress. I am not especially happy. Nothing I do makes me happy. I am going to finish the room I have been working on for a week, and have a new bedroom. That won't make me happy. I buy things that I want without any second thought. I can't stand to know there is something out there that could occupy my time that I don't have. When christmas and birthdays come around, I usually have nothing I want to tell people. I have dated two great girls and neither of them made me especially happy. I live near my family, and see them all the time, well that makes me happy most of the time. 

I think my main problem is how I occupy my time. If I have nothing to do. I sit on the couch and browse the internet. Sometimes I take naps. I should go jogging, or clean my house up, but I don't. Watching TV is depressing, there is very little on that is entertaining. I could spend some more money and get cable or satellite tv, but that won't provide me with anything better to watch. 

For some reason, I am usually annoyed when my dad or grandpa decide to do something. They are usually not interrupting me, but I grump around a little bit like I am mad at something. 

In new news, I am going to the reds game saturday night. My sister and her husband are getting their usual running crew together to go to the game. I'll go and make some small conversation, but will be more interested in the game. The reds are pretty well awful now, but baseball games are a nice distraction for me. I will have to attend a sunday service this weekend since I will be occupied saturday night now. 

Quandary

Quandary is when you have doubt or uncertainty about what to do in a situation. I think I am a pretty black or white guy, that likes to put my head forward and keep progressing. I have found that if I wait around for other people, nothing gets done at a rate that satisfies me. When I am dealing with people, I have found that asking leading questions is a great way to make progress. I have not yet decided if my dad and grandpa are indecisive or just never know what they want to do, but it is hard to figure out what they are trying to do without asking a bunch of questions. 

The main quandary that I have in my life is how satisfied I am. Staying with my family and working on the farm does provide some utility for me. However, I wonder if it is enough. I don't know to many farmers that retire. Farmers are land rich and cash poor. My dad and grandpa are very resistant to doing new things a easier way. Farmers have to stay near their land and keep eyes on things. Travel for pleasure is only during slow times. Farmers rely very much on weather. A bad or good year relies too heavily on the amount of rain you get. Farmers don't have a guaranteed salary. You could go years and not make any money. 

A job as a teacher would be fun also. I would be done with classes most days by 3 Pm. I would get to socialize with students and teachers very often. I would have summers off to laze around all I want. I would go to bed early and wake up early in anticipation of knowing what I have to do almost everyday. I may not get paid the a very high salary, but I would learn to make do. Being a figure of the community is fun for me. I didn't decide on education so I could coach sports. I thought it would be a job I could do. However, I have to wonder if I was only a teacher what I would do with all my leisure time. I would hate to go home and not have anything to do until I went to bed. If I had to move far away for that first job, I would not get to enjoy coming home and seeing my family. 

If I get lucky enough, I would be able to do both jobs without very much trouble. I may be more tired at the end of the day, but I think I would enjoy that. I hate doing so little during the day that I can't easily go to sleep. At any rate, I am not getting younger. It seems that I should have established myself as one or the other by now. Being so ambiguous careerwise does not make me comfortable. 

times typed "oftern" -1

Whimsy

A whimsy is a thought that has no apparent explanation to exist. I sometimes get these fanatical ideas in my head and keep playing out the scenarios as I would like them to happen. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes not. If I seem to be laughing for no reason, that is usually the case. There was one girl in high school who noticed that I must entertain myself because I was usually smiling and laughing. She was right, I entertain myself very easily. 

Kind of a lame post, but they all can't be brain busters. 

paradigm

A paradigm in considered a typical example of something. I am going to describe what me and my grandpa did today, with grandpas role being easily replace by dad just about any day of the year. Grandapa walkie talkied me this morning about 8:15, since he decided he wanted to move four calves to pasture with the rest of the herd. He has to walkie talkie me because we got him a cell phone and nextel is the only brand he can figure out and also hear. Since he woke me up, I told him I would be about 10 or 15 more minutes since I had "something" I was doing at that moment. I walked over to the barnlot about 20 minutes later and didn't see him. The dogs were excited to see me and I threw a stick for them for a little while. I eventually saw that he had the cattle trailer in place and the calves had just walked in when I got to the area. We drove to truck and trailer to the field, let the calves out, and then took the cattle trailer back to the barn we usually put it in. Then we returned a hay wagon to our neighbor. Our neighbor and his wife were snapping green beans on their front porch, so we stayed about half an hour socializing, and then drove to adams county to look at my tobacco. My tobacco looked good, but was not ready to top. Then we drove by my brother tobacco field and saw that it was about the same. On the way I told him that I was going to go to Kiblers to get some trim to put up in my room. I left for Kiblers, got my stuff and got back in time to eat dinner at grandma and grandpas with them. We had mashed potatoes, peas, pot roast, rhubarb jello, cake and some cookies. I drank about half a pitcher of lemonade. After dinner I helped grandpa spray roundup on some weeds on a fenceline for about an hour. I drove the gator and he sprayed where he wanted. Then I rounded up a radial saw, sawhorses, and some other things to work on the baseboard trim in my room with. We made a banister for the room, and got in plenty of arguing while doing it. We then started the trim. This was going good until I told him my plan to put trim around the doorways. Eventually he left, and I started to get plenty done, since he wasn't around to halt everything to a snails pace. At about 7:30 one of my brothers customers needed a ride home. Since he was a family friend I gave him a ride home. He lives by the moler raceway, and I told him I may go on a good drunk one night at the track and need a place to crash so it was no problem to give him a ride. On the way home I stopped at the grocery store and bought a gallon of milk, two gallons of chocolate milk, and a gallon of orange juice. When I got home, I watched big brother 11, laughed at all the houseguests, took a shower and started blogging. 

This may sound like an odd day to some people. I know I am lucky to get along so well and spend time with my grandparents and family. Some peoples jobs and lives take them away from that for whatever reason. This was a usual day for me, mainly for all the interaction I put in with my grandpa. We Haukes all get along really well and are there for each other when need be. We get along with our neighbors and can't wait to help out other people also. 

In other news, the bank is ready for me to sign a mortgage for the house, but my dad is on vacation for another week or so and can't fulfill his role as the seller. 

I also want to talk about my struggles with "a lot." My first and only college english teacher, Mrs. Callahan, lectured that using "a lot," is bad english and to never use it in our writing. I am sure this extends to blogging also. Anyways, my progress here stops everytime I need to type "a lot" and have to think of another adjective. 

Perspicacity

Perspicacity is described as the intensity of judgement or observation. I have struggled with when I want to bring up this topic and what I want to say about it. As a catholic there are certain commandments that I should abide buy. One of the implied rules is no sex before marriage. Since catholics allow for God's forgiveness with the sacrament of confession, I need to go to confession. The main thing I need and should feel awful about, I put a stop to at the end of april. I broke up with the last girlfriend in november but would allow myself to be persuaded by her until april. While it may be easy to blame her, I am just as much at fault. I had a different idea of what was going on than she did. With that being said, my different idea should have been a different different idea towards sex. I don't feel to bad about what was happening during the relationship, even though that was a violation of the commandments. Having the excuse of being in a relationship is not a real strong reason to be engage in sex. Regardless it was happening, and as I become more committed to my faith, that will be something I may struggle with my entire life. I did manage to stay a virgin until after I turned 23. I never had a serious girlfriend until then, mainly from drinking to much and really just not putting any effort out to meet any nice girls. I haven't decided if my looks or my personality were more of a detriment, but I finally found a girl that looked past those and was into me. Anyways the pespicacity of this post refers to God's judgement that I will eventually have to go through. That might be a tough one to explain when the time comes. I could try and deliberate that other couples have also committed that sin, but it is not about what everyone else is doing, it is about what I or God thinks is right. 

I am thinking about going to a concert I heard about on the radio today. The Silversun Pickups, Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra are going to be playing at bogarts in cincinnati on september 14th. I like several silversun pickup songs, but lazy eye is probably my favorite. I can't think of any manchester orchestra songs I know, but I just need to listen more closely I suppose. I have never been to bogarts for any occasion. The one Bogart I know I bowled over during cross country practice one day in high school. He is now a librarian and we still laugh about that when I run into him figuratively. 

I also enjoy going on facebook and deciding I am not friends with people. I go to the find your friends section and let facebook know who I am not friends with. If someone is on there that I might be friends with I just ignore them until facebook gives me a new list to keep and cull. I have gone through my main list of friends before specifically to get rid of friends I don't care to be friends with anymore. 

times typed "oftern"- 0

harbinger

A harbinger is a person or thing that predicts the future. I inadvertently did this on friday, for saturdays sermon. Friday I blogged about patience and on saturday Father Paraniuk had a homily about patience. I will be trying my luck again this week to see how much of a harbinger I am. 

My youngest sister is causing some more problems at home. She has decided that while mom and dad are on vacation, she was going to have a party. This is causing some problems for their house sitter. Some 19 year old girls like having to much fun, and this one is doing the same. My dad jokes around that they had it easy with me. When I was 19 I was going to southern state and working construction for A-1 on my off days. I stayed at home and played video games when I didn't have anything else to do. 

I did get pretty good grades at sscc, but it wasn't a real challenging school. I don't see or for that matter like, how the PSO program works with southern state. It is putting too much pressure on sscc's faculty and taking away all the good students from the high schools. I think that if you are a high school student you should be at the high school during the school day. If you don't need to be there, sign up for a class you don't need and learn something new. I thought high school was to much fun to be toiling away at sscc. I especially thought this back in 01-02 when I was attending sscc. There were to many high schoolers wandering around there back then, it felt more like a high school than a college. I couldn't take another year of that so I applied to Ohio State and started in the fall of 02. The PSO program may be good for students to get college credit, but that starts some of them at a junior level of college classes by the time they are entering a four year university. Some of them may graduate college before they are 21. I think the high schools are to catering to their students more than they should. There are too many incentives being given out to motivate students to do what they should be doing anyways. 

I am thinking about volunteering to be a sunday school teacher at St. Marys in hillsboro. Their bulletin says they are looking for two adults to teach at least 8 sessions starting in october. One would be 7 through 8, and the other would be 9-12. I don't know how I would be welcomed as a newcomer, but I need to introduce myself to Father Paranuik anyways. 

Malaise

Malaise means an all around feeling of illness or bad health without any exact cause. Sometimes I get to thinking to much and wonder if I have any real ambition. I am seemingly fine with making a career out of farming. Even with a college education, working all the time and making a good living are not a real priority of mine. I am barely ambitious enough to want to date anybody. I suppose I am to easily satisfied with my lot in life. I feel to good about not wanting much more out of life. I want better for myself, but let other people hinder me to easily. Eventually I will find or have something worth making a great effort for. 

Father Paranuik is starting to get a little bit better in my esteemed opinion. Last weeks sermon was actually pretty good and this weeks wasn't bad. He doesn't seem to take himself as seriously as Father Byers did, and that is not a good thing from my seat. 

In other news, I am actually a little pissed right now. I don't get angry very easy or often. The teacher that replaced me at eastern just got a big glorifying write up in the local paper. One or two sentences might have been in reference to the work I did, so I am not entirely happy about it. I did the principal and superintendent a favor by quitting grad school and saving them from not having a science teacher for that year. I knew going in it might only be a one year gig, but they knew told me I might be able to parlay that into more of a lasting job if I did well enough. It turns out that as soon as I turned in my resignation, they had a replacement ready to go, and probably had him in mind the entire time I was working there. I made an official resignation in an effort to not have a bad review that might hinder me from further jobs. It would seem that neither choice was helpful in getting me a job. I can't help but think that whenever someone calls those two I am not getting a good recommendation. Whenever I turn in a resume or application, it leads me nowhere. 

Times typed "oftern" -1

Purgation

Purgation is described as the act of getting rid of something disagreable, or unsatisfactory. In that meaning, I need to start working out more. While my weight is down from the alcoholic bloat I had as little as a year ago, I am not satisfied. I see to many people of any age that have to be just too heavy. While my dad seems to think that working hard on the farm gets him enough excercise, I don't know to many skinny farmers, including my dad. I am seriously considering starting that p90x program after we get the crops in this fall. Until we get everything done, I am going to be working outside everyday as long as there is daylight. That may sound like an excuse, but around here we get busy and stay busy when we can. I will have little available time to hide in the house and do that. I am pretty excited about getting active and getting some results. My diet will have to change also. Currently I am not very active and don't eat much more than once a day. My appetite stays low. I may only eat in the evening once or twice a week. If I go out to eat, I will eat then, but usually stay satisfied by drinking fluids all day long. I may drink three gallons of milk, a gallon of orange juice, and two pitchers of kool aid a week. I am not to sure that all the sugar in those drinks is doing me any favors, but I really just need more activity. 

I would also like to talk about the progress upstairs in my house. I am now able to paint one of the walls in the first room at the top of the stairs. My uncle came over the other day and was able to investigate some of the electrical work. I am wanting to fix the one room so I can move my bedroom and closet upstairs. The other finished room upstairs has wood paneling walls. I am not to keen on that design, but am going to let it go for now. I think I may just put some rails up in there and make a big walk in closet out of it. Currently most of my clothes are hanging up in my bathroom closet, which is not the most appealing place to have clean clothes. I have an armoire that I keep all my dress shirts and ties for subbing in. I also have to many shoes laying around downstairs and need a place to keep them out of sight. I have about 15 different pairs of shoes, but I don't wear some of them very often at all. My newest pair is a pair of pumas that are scarlet and grey. They are not quite as grey as ohio states colors, but close enough for me. 

My birthday is coming up august 10th, so I thought I would make a wish list for my 27th birthday. This will also function as my christmas wish list since everything on here is an unlikely gift. 

- a 35 ton log splitter from tractor supply company

- a leaf vaccum type of thing from tsc so I don't have to rake leaves

- wii sports resort and a 2nd wii motion plus accessory

- a borders gift card

- p90x

- a new armoire

-a pair of osu football tickets to any game, home or away

That should suffice for now. 

times typed "oftern" -1

Vagary

vagary is described as an erratic or peculiar modification, act or thought. I get this sometimes when trying to think of ways to improve what we do on the farm. My dad and grandpa are pretty set in doing things the way they have always been done. I prefer to not have to work as hard and suggest easier or smarter ways to do things. They just look at me like I said the dumbest thing they have ever heard. It is now to the point where I don't offer any suggestions about what we should do, since my ideas are immediately shot down/destroyed by their harder not smarter logic. For example, I suggested to my dad the other day that we can feed all of our cows with round bales of hay and not have to bale a single square bale. In short, I will not tell them my idea about putting an elevator on the floor of the corn crib to move ears of corn from one end to the other end for some time. I really don't want to have to shovel corn to the feed grinder for the rest of my adult life. 

I sometimes wonder if I am patient enough. As a teacher or sub teacher  plenty of patience is needed. You have to go at a fast enough pace for the smart kids, while not ignoring the slower learners. I usually call my dad right before dinner time now to ask him what we are doing for dinner, when my intention is really to remind him that dinner is starting so I don't have to wait on him. When I have a certain timeline in mind, I want to stick to it, and people who are not following it aggravate me. Sometimes when I am watching a movie, if a slow part comes on, I almost fall asleep or check the internets for a while. 

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syntax

I always thought syntax meant word arrangement or word choice but it seems to be defined as the arrangement of something in a methodical manner. 

I like to think I have a wide vocabulary, which I would have to attune to all the reading I did as a kid. From the 4th grade on, my mom had a job as a teacher at russellville elementary and I didn't have to ride the bus anymore. I took this chance to read the newspaper on the way to school everyday. I got to sit in the front seat of a toyota station wagon and buried my nose in the paper all the way to school. I seemed to remember reading just about any book I could find. I think the books I liked the best were the chronicles of narnia books. I think I had read them all by the time I was in 6th grade. One of the best books I ever read was "Anna Karenina" for a AP english IV class my senior year of high school. I had to pick from a list and picked that book because it sounded like anna kournikova, the very attractive tennis player. At any rate the size of the book was intimidating, so I would only read about 10 pages at a time and then take a break. The book turned out to be great, a complicated tale about a woman who had an affair after a marriage, runs off with the new guy, has a child and great life. Then at the end of the book she jumps in front of a moving train. I honestly don't remember signing up for the class, but it was a fun class that was videoconferenced with western brown and fayetteville. 

Back to the syntax, I do sometimes use wordy words that aggravate those around me. My dad and grandpa give me dumbfounded stares sometimes. The ex girlfriend would ask to to not talk at such a high level at times. I think it is fun to use new words that I come across in everyday conversation. I especially liked using new words when teaching because the students would be impressed with how smart I am. 

I bought the directors cut of watchmen on dvd tonight, and would like to talk about the book some. I bought the book about this time last year and then found out a movie was being made. The literature touches on some great themes such as what should be done for the world, who should get to make decisions about what is right and wrong, what would happen if vigilantes took matters into their hands? How much can one person do against global violence? 

times typed "oftern" -0

villification

I watched clerks last night, which is most likely my favorite kevin smith movie. In support of this movie and his work, the next dozen or so posts will follow the titles given to the scenes in the movie. While I am not going to talk about the movie for the next dozen or so posts, I will relate the titles to my own life. 

I wonder If me being a self proclaimed tobacco farmer villifies me. Most people have a negative association with tobacco, and they reasons are rightly justified. From my end, I am growing a legal crop that people can choose to use or not. Tobacco by itself does not make me a "cancer merchant." I sell my product to companies who make the more widely used and heavily taxed cancer causing products. If tobacco became unpopular, the market that I make my money off of would not sustain the necessary level for farmers to be profitable. Currently the average price per pound is about $1.80, which is about where it needs to be. A good year gets about 2,000 pounds per acre of tobacco to sell. 

In college I believe I annoyed most of the CFAES people I knew by talking about tobacco. It was something I knew, so I talked about it. I didn't have much else to say most of the time so that's all they usually got out of me. Most of the other ag educators were pretty far away from actual agriculture anyways, so I see why they would be annoyed. My other group of friends were very interested about farming because most of them were city folk. 

I never smoked or used any tobacco products until after I turned 22. I smoked my first cigarette at the urging of my cousin at a party, and it wasn't that bad. I would occasionally smoke one or two a night if I was doing enough heavy drinking. I hardly drink anymore now so smoking is non existent to what I do. Back then it was a way to drink a little less, a cigarette would sober me up and give me something to do that slowed down my drinking. 

To that end, I have also never smoked weed. I could have if I decided to, but the appeal was not there for me. I was doing just fine drinking all I wanted. I did on one occasion smoke that salvia divinorum stuff, but it did nothing for me and I had no reason to return to it. 

Times typed "oftern" -0

kid rock

Today a couple of my family members are planning on going to a kid rock concert at riverbend. I think they are going, but its been raining all afternoon and I don't know how much of a kid rock devotee they are. Mom asked me if I want to go, but I would have to be on someone else's schedule since I would be a DD for at least my mom and dad. 

I just got done watching another stanley kubricks film, 2001: a space odyssey. I didn't really like the movie as it wasn't very dialog driven. I did get all the other movie and joke references based on that movie now, so yay for me. Dialog driven films like clerks or other kevin smith films are much better. Having a netflix account is pretty cool since I get to catch up on old movies I hear about every once in a while. If I keep a tight schedule, I watch two movies a week, but have problems when holidays rearrange the mail schedule.  I also have another thought about movies and tv shows. Whey are they so dark? I watch things all the time where there are hardly any lights on in the room. Most of the time in my house I have all the lights switched on and love it. I don't like living in the dark and scoff everytime I notice a poorly lit room on my tv. 

I also have another problem coming up on august 21 and 22. My brother and his buddy want me to come up to columbus to help them celebrate their 21st birthdays. My ex girlfriend wants me to go to her good friends wedding that weekend with her. I don't want to go to a wedding and have to answer questions about why I am not dating her anymore, or what is wrong with either of us that I can't date her. Drinking to much might help, but hopefully I will be very busy harvesting tobacco that weekend and unable to do either. 

times typed "oftern" -0

subbing

There are some pros and cons to subbing. There was a point when I was carrying around my ds and doing sudoku puzzles during my free time. I also go to imdb.com and look up movies and movie quotes. qwantz.com is not blocked yet, and neither is elevenwarriors.com. foxsports.com is not blocked and I can go to foxnews.com and look up more relevant news. denofgeek.com is not blocked, but that site does not have to much interesting content. I get a good amount of reading done, especially when subbing high school classes. Subbing for elementary classes is more work than in high school, but the kids are more set in a routine and not as dependent on the teacher. I still have to be up and moving around more for an elementary class though. The worst class I have to sub for is the music teacher at fayetteville. The first two periods are guitar classes, which aren't to bad since I take my banjo and play some in those two classes. But then I have choir and band for the next two periods and I have no idea what is going on there. Choir class can just put in a cd and lip sync for the next 45 minutes or so. Band kids just play loud and pretty well whatever they want. The leaders sometimes get a little upset, but it is pretty hard for a sub who was never in band to keep track of 50 kids playing what they want to do. Then I have junior high band later in the day and that is more of the same over there. We usually put in a movie so that class isn't to bad. 

The funniest thing that I ever did was at lynchburg high school. The teacher I was subbing for had a bobblehead that was broken in two. I put it back together, but if someone touched the bobblehead, it would fall apart. So anyways some girl comes in and touches it with one finger, and it fall clean apart. Some of the boys knew this would happen and started giving her hell. I acted like I was mad and got a pen and started asking everyone else what her name was, which everyone obliged to. She got a little upset and then I told her that it was a joke. Lynchburg was kind of odd in that last year I worked there almost 40 days, but only got called once for this year. But I worked zero days at mowrystown the year before and got almost 50 between the high school and elementary, so it worked out for me regardless. 

There are some cons when subbing. Some teachers don't leave enough work for the students to do. Most times I can let the students listen to their Ipods or whatever it is they carry around, and that pacifies most of them,  but I still may have 30 or more minutes of inactivity after they finish the worksheet. I would like to complain about the poor plans that are left for me, but that would ultimately lead to more work for me so I don't complain to anyone. I don't want the teachers to think that I am an expert and give me an expert plan on what the students are going to be tested on. I may tell them something different from what the teacher is going to test, which would lead to problems for the teacher down the road. So I usually just say as little as possible and play dumb as much as I can. Subbing does get a bit boring at times, I have dozed off before when I shouldn't have. While I have had to send some kids to the office before, I usually don't have to many problems with the classes. 

Lunch as a sub is kind of a weird thing also. When I was a full time teacher, the subs would usually eat in the rooms they were in, which is what I do most of the time. The staff lunch room is fun to go to as a sub because I get to hear some of the stories and ask a couple of questions. The teachers usually have something funny to say, or I can read a newspaper someone left out. I do think that a sub eating with the full time staff does make the staff a bit uneasy, I noticed it when I was full time. 

While I hope to not make a full time career out of substitute teaching, I do hope to continue doing so if I don't find a full time job. I do make a little extra money, which I am putting into a saving account. 

times typed "oftern"- 0

facebook apps

On facebook,  I ignore all applications. I can't get myself past the page where they say I am opening myself up to let whomever look at all my information and whatever else it is that is displayed on that page. I also hide any applications that I see any of my friends have added as soon as I see it on my home page. This includes movie quotes, which character are you results, top five lists, and farmville invites. No thanks. 

I also have to deliberate a little bit about large outdoor concerts. I had a lady friend that recently went to country concert out in northwest ohio, and then jamboree in the hills, out near the state line between ohio and pennsylvania, I believe. These were both at least three day events, held on consecutive weekends. I could not tolerate being around such a large group of people for such a long time. Drinking may help, but I would just be to sleepy after an hour or two and be comatose after a while. While I don't want to complain about women of my age wearing bikini tops around all day long, I don't get what they are going for with that. Are they not wanting a weird sunburn, or are they wanting creepy looks all day long? Maybe there is some comfort feature I don't know about, but then bikini tops would be worn more often, which doesn't seem to be the case. On the topic of the music, she did seemingly get to see a bunch of cool bands, most of which were country music oriented.  If I had to pick, I think that I would prefer to go to Jamboree in the Hills over Country Concert. Jambo seemed a little more organized, and the picture albums I have seen haven't shown as much late night partying. 

I now have decided that my goal is 365 blog post in 365 days. I am off to a good start with over 50 posts, but still have a ways to go. Can I keep churning relevant and interesting posts? 

times typed "oftern" 1

cooking

I now have all kinds of time to try out different cooking recipes. Let me start with my egg recipes first. 

I used to never like to eat scrambled eggs, but now I do enjoy them. I think the problem was my mom and dad told me to make scrambled eggs by putting some eggs on a skillet and just mixing them up until they were cooked. This result was not especially tasty, and I now have found a much better recipe that makes nice and fluffy eggs. I also have a funny story about omelettes. I used to never order an omelette at a restaurant because I never knew what they were. I was looking up recipes to try out on the internet one day and found an omelette recipe where you put the eggs and cheese in a heavy duty bag and boil the bag in water for fifteen minutes. My dad thinks this is asinine and gives me hell about it, but I've never seen him make an omelette, so how can my way be so ridiculous? I have now found a better easier way to make an omelette from watching a video on youtube, and the recipe is coming along very nicely. I also found an easy way to make french toast using a george foreman grill, so I can eat french toast as often as I want also. 

My hamburger recipe could use a little bit of work. I have advanced to where I now form up the patties using a plastic bag. That works pretty well since I don't get my hands all grossed up. However, they don't come out just how I have in mind when I cook them on the grill or the foreman, so some more investigation and practice are needed.  My steaks turn out okay, but I think my main problem may be how clean my grill is. I used to always cook hamburgers and steaks on top of some tin foil, but I have lately got away from that. My chili usually turns out pretty good, but I don't have much of a recipe that I follow. I just dump plenty of seasoning in, some hot peppers, onions, and some other things that I don't recall at this instant. I have tried some pot roast recipes, the one I have bookmarked got some good reviews by my mom and youngest sister last time I tried it out. I have tried some hamburger helper deals, the one I cooked saturday night was pretty good, but most of it is still left. I just put my leftovers in a mixing bowl and put the lid on it. The leftovers are sitting in my refrigerator still. 

When I go out to eat, which is generally with my dad and mom, I usually order chicken or seafood. I must piss off my dad when we go to longhorns steakhouse, because I order shrimp just about everytime. Getting a steak or meat cooked by someone else doesn't appeal to me, since I eat that food all to often at home. Even when I go to the old y restaurant, its either the shrimp dinner or texas tenderloin and french fries. 

I also notice that about evertime I type often, I type oftern the first time the have to retype it. Maybe I can convince enough people that oftern is a form of often and put that in the lexicon. 

the molitors

My moms side of the family are the Molitors. They are the more fun family to socialize with, hands down. At Hauke social events, everyone sits around and talks quietly. At Molitor events, we play cards, wiffleball, badmition, tell jokes, and laugh. It may be because one side of the family has so many more people, but the Molitors have more fun. They are also a more diverse group, since the Haukes are the only ones that farm in that patriarchy. I also like to think 

This coming saturday my mom and dad are leaving on a motorcycle trip to northeastern states. Last year they went to virginia beach and back, but that was their first trip. Such a trip makes me nervous, anything could happen on a motorcycle trip to the east coast and back. I know they are going to at least maine, weather permitting. 

Also, the kings of leon concert that I mentioned a couple of post ago is actually on saturday october 10, not september 10th. A concert review is still pending. 

Cera

Michael Cera has to be one of my favorite actors. I thought nick and norahs infinite playlist was good, but had a hard time that high school age people get to run around new york city all night going into bars listening to music and goofing off like that. The drunk girl was funny, but norah wanting some action seemed out of place. Most of the music was cool, but I don't have enough patience to search out and listen through hors of music to find or have that taste. 

Michael Cera was great in juno, nick and norahs infinite playlist, and arrested development. Superbad was okay, but I didn't really think that movie was all that funny. I would also have to say Ed Norton is another favorite actor of mine, but he hasn't done anything I have noticed lately. 

My research for grad school is going okay, albeit a little bit slow. I like reading about problem based learning and thinking about how to apply it to a classroom, but just wonder it this is gonna help me get a job. I would like to have more motivation, but it is what it is so there is not all that much I can do about it. 

I have been thinking about buying a playstation 3 so I can have a blu ray player to watch watchmen on, but have not been able to think of a game that I would want to play on a ps3 that would justify spending the 400 something dollars on that getup. I am pretty content with playing a nintendo wii and ds, so another system is hard to justify. I did download a game called bit.trip.CORE, it is pretty fun and easy to play, but gets all kinds of harder after about 5 minutes. 

Friends

While I would not describe myself as having very many good friends, I like to think the ones I have are pretty loyal to me. 

In high school, I was not unpopular, but have now come to realize that no one seemed to care if I went to any parties and socialized outside of school at all. I was on the basketball team, but didn't hardly get off of the bench at all. I remember my senior year, several of my friends went to longs retreat for a weekend of shenanigans, and nobody said a word to me. One of my friends from church is now married to the girl I took to senior prom after he seemingly realized I wasn't terribly interested in any further dating of her. Most of the people I know from high school are surprised at how much I would drink when they might see me at a party, but now I don't drink hardly at all so that holds no weight. I just looked through my phone and I have two peoples numbers that graduated with me, and about six numbers of people that graduated with either of my brothers in 2004 or 2007. 

In college I had more friends that were willing to put up with me socially, but none of them were in my major, or for that matter even in the same college. CFAES was the ag colllege, and most of my friends were engineers. I do wonder what I would talk to them about now that I drink way less, but that day hasn't come yet. Two of my good friends I talk to about once a month, but that would be way less if they didn't come to visit brown county to have some decent hunting ground. The one buddy is now engaged and has become a bit of a scatterbrain about returning calls. My other good friend goes to UNLV for law school, but doesn't care to return calls either. Most of the girls I know up there weren't that interested in talking to me hardly ever so I rarely get more than a sentence out of them when I see them online or on facebook. 

Its a good thing for me that most of who my friends are now are family. If not for them I would be especially lonesome or depressed. The problem that I have now is that my ex-girlfriend is way interested in being a friend and is cluttering up my facebook wall like she is marking her property of something. I need to figure out a way so that she can write on my wall, but her actions are invisible to everyone else. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't think of something to comment on every day, but she is and I either have to hope it lessens or make yell at her some. 

Gonna watch nick and nora's infinite playlist tonight, may start a little campfire and then see who is on snl. 

air conditioning

I do not especially care for air conditioning. Being to cold is not something I enjoy, I always dress too warm. Last summer when it was 90 or 100 degrees somedays, I just sat around and sweated out the heat. I opened up all the windows in my house and just let as much air in as I could. My electric bill got as cheap as 25 dollars last summer, which was a relief from the 300 dollar plus electric bills from heating my house during the winter. This summer is not as bad since it has hardly reached 90 but just a handful of times. When I am busy outside farming, I get used to the heat, so heat inside the house doesn't bother me.  Even when I am driving around in my truck, I don't turn the AC on, I just drive around with both the windows down. When I lived with my brother in my great grandparents old house, I had a wood burning fireplace and I kept the house warm enough to walk around in shorts and a t-shirt. It was glorious to look outside and see a couple of inches of snow on the ground, then not have to be cold inside. Now that I have a house with an electric furnace, I need to wear a hooded sweatshirt all day long during the winter, and still pay a heavy electric bill. 

I was hoping to get to go the reds game today, but my buddy from columbus didn't call me back so it looks like I will just be staying home and listening on the radio. I guess I will just start a fire in my new fire pit behind my house and listen on the radio. 

of course I remember, it was last wednesday

I recently watched "Raising Helen" from netflix because of a unitentional, mention/recommendation from another blog that I used to read. The movie was okay, but it was a bit to cliche or predictable for me. I was surprised that the pregnant woman didn't have her baby when the were chasing down the 15 year old girl on prom night. I did like how the Helen realized other things were not as important or as worthwhile after she had lost the kids near the end of the movie. I also have "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" now on my queue from the same recommedation/source. 

While I didn't make this blog in an effort to review concerts, it has come to my attention that a review is being requested. Yes, the concert I went to last night featured cheap trick, not trick pony, it would seem I was confused by bands that have trick in their names. I would have to say that cheap trick was the second best show there last night, with def leppard being the better group. Poison was okay, they got a bit cooler when I realized the singer was the guy from the rock of love show, but they still only played one song that I had heard of and the singer was more worried about the party at annies and promoting vh1 and his show. Def leppard played some cool songs, but we only stayed for about 40 minutes of their act. The guy who played the two neck guitar was pretty good, and they had some pretty cool music going even if I didn't recognize any of the songs they played. Maybe I should have looked up some of their songs before I went, but I didn't plan on going until the night before and thought it would be fun to go regardless of who was playing. 

I also noticed how much beer people were drinking or at least buying. It nearly made me sick to my stomach to think about trying to drink that much beer. I am glad I don't try to do that much drinking anymore. 

Hopefully I can review a kings of leon concert after saturday september 10th, but I need to figure what is meant by good seats. The pwnage from the last post was worse after I realized that I could of maybe taken someone else, but oh well. 

Pwned

Pwned is a funny version of the word owned, used when something bad happens or is seen. It could also refer to doing something that makes someone else feel bad. 

I my case I got pwned by a concert tonight. My 17 year old soon to be high school senior cousin bout a 4 pack of tickets to a def leppard, poison, and trick pony concert at riverbend for tonight. He was unable to find more than one friend to go with him. I told him I would take the tickets since he was going to let them go to waste, and that by doing so he might owe me a future favor. I asked the exgirlfriend to go figuring that her new job as a cook at la-rosa's would have her working and unable to go. I was going to get some brownie points by asking her, and letting her know that I was going to be to busy for her tonight. Well, she has the day off and now I got to put up with her wanting to be a friend and trying to win me back for a whole night. I much rather would have gone by myself than go with her to another concert again. I was hoping to put up a feeler on facebook and find someone that wanted to go via that resource. 

I am going to stay sober tonight, since a def leppard head liner concert is not a good enough occasion for me to start throwing some beers back. Should be interesting to realize how drunk drunks are when I am not a drunk myself. 

HI, I'm a mac

I have had my black macbook since october of 2006. I started using macs because the internet in the house I was renting didn't work how I needed it to, and the closest computer lab near me was all imacs. I learned how to use them and decided that the next computer I bought was going to be a mac. When I bought my mac, I had only a couple of hundred dollars in my bank account. I spent an entire paycheck on the first part of the bill and put the rest on a credit card. For a while I didn't have the internet on it, because I was living with my brother and we didn't have internet or cable tv for that matter. 

Now that I have learned more and more how to use a mac, I like them even better. All the shortcuts they have for the browsers and the operating systems are great. They pick up wireless signals automatically, and all the anti-mac commercials on TV are funny to me. What kind of person goes around buying a computer on the basis that it has a big screen? If that was important, you would learn how to use your tv screen to compute things. I barely even use full sized windows anymore, the window I have open now takes up about 3/4 of the overall screen and I have four tabs open in my browser. The worst downside to a macbook is the battery life. After about half an hour, my macbook is hurting and wants to shut down to prolong itself. 

In unrelated news, I think my favorite non-radio song from only by the night is crawl. 

driving

I have decided that I like driving my truck around. I get to listen to the radio and hear new songs and listen to talk radio. I used to get tired all the time when I would drive between home and columbus, but now that is not the case. Now I pretty well have enough energy and driving is not a struggle to stay awake. Being on the road is almost more fun than loafing around home aimlessly.

Dad

I thought I would make todays post about my dad. I used to get compliments or comments that me and him looked alike. Apparently he used to walk around with a smile on his face and some of his friends from back in the day would see me and think it was him walking around. I used to spend all kinds of time smiling, generally because I am thinking of something funny in my head, or extrapolating something that I just seen into a funny event.

At any rate, my dad does lots of things for me. He got one of our neighbors to agree to let me farm on the shares which meant we each got half of the money and costs. This has been keeping me financially sound since I was 23, which is a good thing. If it wasn't for that farming enterprise, I would have taken an ag ed job wherever I could have gotten on and then dad and grandpa would have lost me here from the farm. At least for a couple of years until I decided to have come back. Dad realized what would have happened and got that agreement for me. He also got me working with Larry, who owned the paylake for the same type of deal. Larry was to weak to do the farming on his own, so it probably didn't take to much convincing. 

One of our exchange students once told me that him and dad were talking about my grandfather and great grandfater, Rich and Rolland once. Dad said he liked working with those two because they felt like two brothers to him. My dad only had the one sister, Barb, and he must have wished that he had a brother to pal around with. That may be why he had so many kids, three of them boys. He was looking for some more male companionship that he missed out on earlier in life. We do all get along, and so far it looks like two out of the three of us are gonna go into farming. 

My dad does make me do things for him that I jokingly say he is to lazy to do himself. He makes me raise some chickens and gather their eggs everyday. He did have a coop at his house, but a weasel kept getting in and killing off his brood. So now he makes me do it. 

It would be a little cooler if dad did like going to reds games more often. He keeps himself pretty busy in the evenings and never really suggests going. Now he has a motorcycle so if he gets a free evening he takes a harley ride to wherever it is he likes to go. He does like helping me keep stats at the girls basketball games for Kiser. I got started doing that my sisters junior year and now that she is out of high school I keep on doing that just to get out of the house some during the winter. 

story time at church.

Yesterday I bought some peanut butter flavored m&m's that had strawberry flavor  magically added. I nearly jizzed in my pants after eating a couple. 

The reds have been awful lately and it doesn't look much better for them. Jay Bruce hurt his wrist and will be out for a couple of weeks. Joey Votto got thrown out of todays game and ruined his hitting streak of 12 or so games. They went 2-5 on a road trip before the all star break. Hopefully things will get better for them, I would like to have reason to go to another game or two this summer. 

The preacher at the new church I am trying out in hillsboro gives scripted sermons. Looking back, Father Byers sermons were not predictable but were more personable stories about his thoughts on the bible. Father Paraniuks sermons seem like he looks them up on some type of sermon database. They don't seem very overarching to a lesson that the bible should teach. The sermon yesterday was more like story you might tell at a party when you want to brag about your son. Hopefully he will get better in my eyes, I do plan to keep attending services there for a while. 

I was thinking today about how happy I may or may not be. On the plus side I am going to be a homeowner, work with my family, mostly get to do what I would prefer to do, and loaf and be as lazy as I want to be most of the time. On the down side, I am lonely most of the time, don't have a real career ambition, and am content to sit around and do very little. While I could be happier with my life, where I am and who I have around me are pretty high points. I have to wonder how finding the right person to commit my life will make me happier. Many people that get in relationships can seem unhappy, as if they are still expecting more from themselves. I don't know if the dissatisfaction comes from their partner or not, but I would like to think if I found the right person I would be all smiles all the time. Living life for just me is not very satisfying, I would like to think that committing to another person to try and make them happy would be very satisfying. This would ring true even more so if I were to ever have a kid, I instantly become less important and have someone that depends on me for everything. People that continue to live only for themselves seem pompous or unbelievable. I have to wonder about people who I see walking around in stores with more than one case of beer and kids following them around. I got to live for myself for almost 27 years now, and am ready for a change. 

I bought the "Only by the night" album by the kings of leon last night, and wouldn't you know it, there is a "use somebody" track and a "be somebody" track on the same cd. It would seem my commentator was correct to point out that "use somebody" was the song I was hearing on the radio. The CD is pretty good so far, I put it on my itunes and listen to the album songs when I want to now. 

a letter

Today my ex-girlfriend dropped off a letter detailed as to why she thought so much of me and that she wants a second chance. I already gave her a second chance this time last year when she wanted some "time apart" on the way back home from a wedding. On sunday she decided that, and on tuesday I took her back without question. This time I am not willing to take her back. I was the one who called off the relationship back in november, and have no interest in starting again. Even If I spend an unreasonable amount of time alone and wanting for companionship, she is going to have to manage being a friend and nothing more. 

The remodeling I am doing upstairs is going a bit slow. I decided to remove part of the banister and take out the old carpet. Then I can prepare the walls and ceiling so that I can paint them a different color and patch all the holes in the walls. Then I can get some carpet put in and some decent trim up there. I would also need to install some electrical outlets and maybe put in a ceiling fan. I am also thinking about buying a new bed and making the old one a guest bed of some sorts. The room next to that one upstairs has wood paneling, I would probably take it out also, but may have to move one room at a time. 

I got my bank statement today, and managed to spend about 8,000 dollars last month. 1000 of that was credit card charges, but I also paid off most of my fertilizer and spray bills and bought new tires for my truck. It was an expensive month, but I still will have enough money to make the down payment on my house, pay my grad school tuition, put about three years of mortage payments in the bank and keep renovating the house. Last year I had about zero dollars by the end of september and if it wasn't for subbing, I wouldn't have been able to pay any of the bills. I finally did get some money in the bank account after I got some of the crops in in october. This year I won't be that financially poor. 

listless

Last night was pretty sleepless. During the day I managed to sneak in a two hour nap. Those naps are just destroying my sleep schedule. This kind of reminds me of why I enjoyed drinking during college. It would make me sleepy enough to go to bed when I wanted to. My college experience was not especially taxing and at the end of the day I would have to much energy left over. The same can be said for some days around here on the farm. Oftentimes I am not especially busy during the day and am not tired at the end of the day. This leads to naps during the day and some sleepless nights. I liked teaching or having a regular job because it gave me something to achieve or fulfill my day. I would have done enough by eight and be ready to go to bed. Having to be up and awake early helped also, since I didn't get to sleep in. Waking up and having a purpose was really helpful in achieving something during the day. 

On another note, my flower beds are starting to get a little to weedy. I need to go through and weed out the grasses that are coming up. Some of the flowers are starting to bloom and turn out pretty nice. Some of them are not doing very well, but since this is my first year in this house, some of the flowers I set out are going to be trial and error. I am going to need more time and observation to get a good ideal on what flowers and plants are going to do well in spots. Since I have so many trees around, I get plenty of shade during the evenings. I do have the watering down pretty well, I made a frame that holds down one of the hose rollers so well that I don't have to watch that the box turns over when unrolling the hose. 

big brother 11

Today I watched stanley kubricks 1971 film "A clockwork orange." I didn't really get much out of the premise of the film, but do get some of the popular culture film references now. 

I also watched the premier of big brother 11 tonight. I have said before that if I have time to watch tv shows like that, I need a hobby that keeps me out of the house. I haven't found that hobby yet, and I am still in the house watching the show. Also, in what may have been a mistake, I did invite the ex-girlfriend over to watch it with me. It would seem that she is less interested in being friends than she originally protested, as she comes over and mostly wants to talk about why we broke up. I have not yet been able to convey to her that I was not in love with her, even though I believed that I have said that much. She is under the belief that since I am not dating anyone, that she should still get her second chance. I have the belief that people that dated for a year don't need second chances. 

I have also been thinking about videogames. I thought that being sober would allow me more time to play video games, but they are just not appealing enough for me to turn the nintendo wii on. I seemingly prefer to scour the internet and read all the news that I can. I go to gonintendo.com everyday and read all the new news on that site. I also go to any other news sites and read what is on there. I take a break from reading for grad school work to come on the internet and read some more. 

nothing particualr

Today we finished bailing hay, which means my grandpa will probably want to start topping tobacco tomorrow. 

I did manage to help bail hay this year without falling off the wagon again. Last year we were using a shitty wagon on a hill and the wagon broke off. I was about 10 feet off of the ground, and landed about 25 feet away. Apparently I landed square on the heel of my left foot, and couldn't put much pressure on it for a week. So falling off of the wagon is not just a metaphor for me. 

My ex girlfriend has now taken to being online and even posted on my facebook wall today. She did indirectly reference one of my blog post, but I don't think she is a reader as I haven't told anybody I know that I am keeping a blog. On a side note, I may take my blog public after a year, I kind of like having a secret blog from people I talk to. 

It looks like I won't be going to vegas this weekend for the incubus concert. My buddy out there hasn't called me back and I don't want to go out there if I don't have a ticket. I went out to the real cleveland last december to catch a cavs game and visit with him, but we ended up not getting tickets and just going to a couple of bars. That would be a pretty dull weekend in vegas at this point in my life. 

Sometimes I wonder if I am like Randall in Clerks. He hates people but loves going to social events. I would much prefer to sit at home and do very little. If I had someone to go to places with I would get out more. I almost just don't like being out late anymore. Even on the weekends I worry to much about what I am going to have to do the next day to enjoy myself when I am out. Most days I can't wait to get back in the house so I can do nothing. 

The mexicans we had last year with the H2A program are calling me as of lately. They are all trying to position themselves so that they can get a friend or someone they like here with them. If all goes well, they will be here from mid august to early january. 

Also, I have caught three mice in my house in the past four days. Last night I heard the trap spring and heard a bit of a struggle for about 30 seconds. It was like when Dr. Evil dumped will ferrells character into a lave pit in the first austin powers. Hold that phone, another trap went off while I was typing this. Make that 3 mice in the past day. 

My afro

I eventually came to notice that my hair curled when I let it grow out some. Using this to my adavantage, I grew an afro my sophomore year of high school and then again in 2003. Some may say that it was technically a "euro" since I have european descent compared to african descent. The first afro I grew eventually had to go because I was outside sweating all day and playing basketball. It was pretty cool though. The second edition I cut before the start of spring quarter my sophomore year of college and grew all the way until christmas that year. I had to wear a visor all summer when I was working construction to keep all the hair out of my face. I got it cut because I was leaving for brazil in january and had had enough of it. I was getting random compliments at parties and bars around campus so that was pretty cool. I did eventually decide that the afro was getting a little thin on top, which meant I was losing my hair in some manner. It was almost a huge pompadour up front by the time I got it cut. Also, I was going to be in a wedding when I got back on valentines day and the bride was not going to have any of that. The picture I put with this post was from high school, and a 16 year old me. If I find the older, better picture I will post it one day also. 

Farming went pretty well today, I am figuring out this software that dad wants me to run a little bit better. Dad has also apparently decided that I am going to be in charge of all the tobacco spraying this year as "I don't want to do everything" has been proclaimed. 

I also checked the reds schedule today and they are playing in St. Louis on my birthday. However, St. Louis is not an impossible distance away. 

My two favorite college classes

During my college career, not many of my classes were all that interesting. I have decided that since ag ed majors in ohio didn't have to take a content test in agriculture, our department teachers decided to load us up on pedagogy courses. This would help us pass the principles of teaching and learning test for high school teachers, which would make the our teachers look better when they got to brag about how well their students did on the praxis II. However, I think we spent to much time on pedagogy and didn't get the classes I was hoping to in college. This may have had more to do with my major, but oh, well. 

What was probably my favorite class was ag systems management 360. In this course we learned the math behind how machinery works and how to apply that math to ag equipment. Even though I struggled with some of the math, I did enjoy the class. One of my favorite days was when we were talking about combines, the teacher realized that not many of his students had probably ever driven a combine. I was one of the only students who had ever driven a combine, and maybe one of the only ag ed students who had done so in the mixed major class. I took this class spring quarter of my senior year, when most of my classmates were graduating at the end of the quarter. I started wearing my red wing boots around campus everywhere, and really enjoyed that class. I also would like to comment on the quality of the agriculture educators we were supposedly graduating, had little experience with some of the larger parts of farmer operators. They seemingly spend more time worrying about things that are not wholly agriculture related like parlimentary procedure or speech writing, things you wouldn't necessarily think a farmer needs to know. 

My second favorite class was horticulture and crop science 320, principles of plant reproduction. The class was good because the teacher really liked teaching all of us. He liked me because I was not one of the regular hcs students that was grouped off with the other hcs students. I was a bit of an "outside the box" thinker to him. The labs were also all kinds of fun. We got to go in on friday mornings and play around in the greenhouse. My teacher also gave me some hell for being to much of a drunk and going out the night before labs. He told me and my lab partner that the only people that had time to go to bars and drink to much were nurses and education majors. I also had a bit of a crush on my lab partner, from meeting her a year or two earlier in another class. She had a kind of geeky name, carrie fisher. 

On another note, most tv is depressing to me. Watching crime shows just introduces new ways for me to die that I don't want to think about. Someone is either murdered, raped, or some other uncomfortable topic that is not nice to think about or watch with anyone.  Most everything is also awful. The only shows I like to watch are LOST, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother. All other shows cannot hold my interest. 

there is no spoon

The Matrix may be my favorite movie of all time. The action is good in the movie but what really intrigues me is the philosophical questions it presents. What is real? Can humans really be considered a virus of earth? How do we know we aren't already in a dream world that we can't wake up from? How much do we really depend on machines and are they necessary? Would you really want to know if the matrix was in charge? Would ignorance be bliss? Did the machines really get the flavor of our food right? Would God step in and take care of artificial intelligence or would he let his creation go to waste? Can humans really be imprisoned and manufactured in such a way that endless electricity is created? How much symbolism were the wachowski brothers able to put in the movie? How much should we read into what the names of the characters are? Would a helicopter crashing into a building really look that cool? What can we believe? 

On another subject my dad has been politicking for me to get back with my last girlfriend. I don't want to get back with her because she intentionally started playing a game. She decided that she was going to try less at our relationship and it backfired on her. She would take me back and she has told my parents that she doesn't want anyone else, but she should of thought about that before she decided to try less. We also dated for a year and I didn't think I loved her. If two people are together that long and have not come to that conclusion, then they shouldn't be together in a romantic manner. 

sad, sick, sober and sorry

Yesterday I went to my younger sisters house and drank too many beers. I have no more intentions to drink anymore until the middle of next month, and that may be cancelled also. 

Most of the farming is done around here, we just have a little bit of hay to bale and will be done until august when we start harvesting tobacco. 

On the way to my sisters house I realized another one of the reasons I don't drink as much anymore. My brothers are annoying and drinking with them is not that much fun. I can tolerate my younger sister and her husband much easier, but most of my family is not to much fun to be around when I want to hit the bottle. 

sobriety

I have not done any heavy drinking since the end of march, when I visited some friends in columbus. I decided that my drinking habits weren't doing me any favors and to cut back to nearly zero. The hangovers were lasting longer, drinking alone was getting to be less fun, and I was probably spending to much money. With that in mind I am going to do some heavy drinking tonight, and don't have any more plans to do so until my youngest brothers 21st birthday party in august. 

Tomorrows post will likely be based on a country song I heard a couple of day ago, "Sad, Sick, Sober, and Sorry."

church showdown

Recently I have been more committed to attending church. I am a confirmed catholic, and decided that I should be attending more. The church that I grew up in is reorganizing in such a way that the mass schedule needed to be changed. I preferred to go to a saturday evening mass in sardinia, but that part of the parish has been closed and I had the option of georgetown, ripley or arnheim. The saturday mass would be in georgetown, which is a slow half hour drive from where I am. Given that information, I decided to tryout the catholic church in hillsboro and decide which I may commit more time to in the immediate future. While I do find the hillsboro church service of 5:30 more convenient, I am not quite sold on what is happening there yet. The inside if the church is painted very bright, and the newsletters talk about them being in debt almost 300 grand. Hillsboro does offer catholic school services during the school year which I find intriguing. My previous parish had very good things to offer, but the less convenient location and times don't necessarily suit my preferences. I can make it to hillsboro in about twenty minutes. I think I will be going to hillsboro services for the near future, but may pop in mt. orab every once in a while also. 

Part of the appeal of catholic masses for me is the structure. I attended non catholic services with my ex girlfriend and didn't quite like the liberty or flexiblitiy in services. The people were great, the sermons were outstanding, but I didn't like not knowing what should be happening next. 

Also, I am really into three songs so far this summer. Whenever they come on, I have to turn the radio up just a little bit more. "Spaceman" by the killers, "Be Somebody" by Kings of Leon, and "Zero" by the yeah yeah yeahs. They are totally kick ass. 

graduate school

I was considering starting up graduate school work this month, but my advisor talked me out of it. Since I am taking my courses through an online school, I have the option to take up to 3 months off every 6 months. I will be starting up officially august 1st, at which point I will be turning in papers that I am currently working on. Since I am in more of a research and planning phase, starting in july will give me no benefit to starting in august. Part of my planning is me finding a school and teacher that will let me come in and implement my research. However, I won't be able to get in a classroom and do my work until late october or november. My advisor thought that I might even be able to work in an ag classroom if I was able to teach the right topic. I however decided that I want to be able to put more science experience on my resume. Right now it looks like I will be able to get in at whiteoak high school, but have sent an email out to the principal at fayetteville high school. Hopefully all will go well and I will be able to complete all my work by the end january. I am looking forward to maybe getting out to utah and going through a graduation ceremony. Should be a good time. 

and this one belongs to the reds!

Tonight me and my grandpa went to the reds game. They beat the arizona diamondbacks on a run scored by Joey Votto. They had a couple of close calls and the pitching was a bit iffy at times, but Cueto got out of it and ended up with 8 strikeouts. 

If someone asked me who my best friend was, I would have to pick between my dad and grandpa. I spend almost to much time with either of them and am really starting to play off of their traits to make my day so much easier. Sure I have friends from college who I was good drinking buddies with, but I wonder now  what we would do or talk about if we got to hang out sober. I don't have as much interest in what they are doing, because their lives are kind of dull to me. If I had a 9-5 job and came home for the rest of the day, I would go insane. I might start moonlighting at a fast food place. It wouldn't be good for me to not have almost to much activity. So in effect, dad and grandpa would be a tough choice  for best friend. I think I would have to pick my dad, but grandpa would be a close second. However, if the day ever comes for me to pick a best man for a wedding, I don't think I would pick either of them. 

I am also considering going out to las vegas to see Incubus play. I could hang out with a friend from college who has decided to sober up this summer. I think he really liked his friends from college and is disappointed that he has less visitors since starting law school at UNLV. So one hand, it would be fun to catch up with him, but on the other hand Incubus plays at riverbend the next weekend, but I wouldn't have anyone to go with. 

Also, I am on twitter as stompfarmer. All my tweets are stomp related, and its is awesome.