6 month baby

Sophias six months of being born is coming up on us. She can now mostly sit on her own without falling to one side or the other. She rolls to her back and belly with ease now. She is kicking her legs when she is on her belly as if she wants to crawl, and she is likely only days away as of now. She doesn't do much in terms of syllables yet, but makes plenty of talking and commotion with her mouth. She can grab her pacifier and place it in her mouth the correct way. We only get one good nap out of her consitently, but she does sleep as well as we can expect during the night. She is really quite interesting to me, but I am not relating to her on the same way that Amanda is. Amanda is putting all her time and effort into our daughter and it really shows when I watch the two of them interact. One day I will have something closer to what they have, I just don't have it now. I can't wait until she can understand and interact with me more than what she does now.

We are having some issues with my mom as of lately. At an event, mom thought I was handing Sophia to her when in actuality I was trying to hand Sophia to Amanda. Amanda didn't like this and decided to not answer my moms calls for a while. I decided to intervene and things have gone downhill for all three of us now. Mom has decided that her pride is more important than admitting she may have done what happened, and Amanda is doing nothing with my Mom present until an apology happens. Neither of us are real happy about what has happened but we are where we are.

I am not sure what is going to happen from all this. I am going to be hit with a huge tax bill this year. Amanda wants a place where we can board horses. Mom is going on about losing her oldest son. I am qualified to teach, for all purposes wherever I decide I want to live. Teaching is less money but less work and less tax bill. All I can really think is that a marriage is supposed to be a cleve from your parents and a dedication to my spouse. I can't bring this up to her without upsetting her more, but my job as a person is to be a husband and father now, not a son that appeases his mother against my wifes honor.

times typed "oftern"-0

16 weeks

Sophia has turned four months as of the 22nd. The pediatrician says her numbers look good as far as her weight and height. Her skin looked a little dry so we need to make an effort to keep her skin lotioned up and in good shape. Amanda went and got some better products for her today and has been coaching me on more appropriate techniques. Ability-wise Sophia is doing more and more all the time. She can turn to either side, but not quite roll over yet. She can grasp things and give them a good shake for a little bit of time. She is trying to put her hands and whatever they have in them to her mouth all the time. She usually has some bi of a drool, and spits up her diet from time to time. She can stand with assistance really well, but can't sit up straight yet on her own. If we put her on her tummy, she can hold her head up for a while but gets tired and fussy after a moment or so. At night she has really settled into a routine of feeding until full, getting the pacifier and then falling asleep and being swaddled into her bassinet until the morning. The only real issue we are having is getting a decent nap during the day. Amanda says she can't really get her to take more than a twenty minute nap when I am away and as a result she is unable to do as much as she would like during the day.  I get to spend time with her when I am home, but during this time of the year I have to be out when I can.

We have been able to take Sophia out on a couple of occasions in public without incident. She usually falls asleep during the ride over and stays asleep while we eat also. Amanda can't help but be anxious during that time.

The farming is going really well this year. We brought in a ton of money, have paid most of the bills and are stocking up on things we need. I have just as much money coming in the first of the year, but need to do as much planning as I can. The last time I grossed over six figures, my tax bill was nearly twenty thousand. I can do some things to reduce that figure but will likely have just as big a tax bill this spring. Amanda is happy that we are paying off some of the debts, and are able to plan some nice things to do in the future. All in all, this is just a good year and we can easily have a bad year and struggle heavily. The bosses and myself have become frustrated with raising tobacco and are going to cut back for the 2013 crop. I am going to cut back to zero acres and pounds and need to consider ways to produce income. I want to do some training and get a CDL so I can drive a truck for some more income regardless of any other work I can find. We can haul grain to a better paying elevator and make more money right away doing that. However we only grow so many crops and need more to really justify our own costly rig. I think I would be able to haul and drive some for my relatives once we get out of season. Amanda hasn't said so but she is concerned about my sleepiness when driving and being able to afford a truck and any associated costs. I understand her concerns but farming works best when supplementary income is present.

times typed "oftern"-0

teachers-teachers

Sophia has grown a bunch since I last blogged. She can make all kinds of noises now and seems to have a little more control of her arms and legs. She has much more control of her neck now and can stay upright and look around when she wants to be awake. Most importantly, she is sleeping through the nights, for at least five and six hours, sometimes more. Amanda is struggling a bit with an established routine but we are getting closer and closer to a standard day all the time. We got a couple of things for Sophia to interact with now, like a playmat, and some things she can hold on to in her hands. We also got some more onsies and sleepers for her now that the weather is going to turn an be colder.

I have registered and put some information on a site to help me find a teaching job. I don't know if Ohio is too competitive or whatever the case may be but I can't get a job here. I had several interviews through the course of the summer and only two places were decent enough to call back and let me know I didn't get the job. The worst part about applying anywhere is that I have to put the same information on each individual school districts application. I can have my profile on either the ODE or teachers-teachers and all the school districts do is ignore all that and require I fill out their special application that is in every way unique from any other school district. It is very time consuming and cumbersome. I am almost looking forward to getting the chance to move and have a career for what I spent so much time and money for school with.

I have been anticipating an average crop this year with above average prices. The market is not very stable but the prices I am looking to get are still high. I was hoping to use this windfall to pay off Amandas and me debts before we moved, but I haven't found a job yet to really encourage that process. I was anticipating paying off her car and my truck at the very least but if I don't have a second income we won't be able to do so. At any rate things are looking good for the crops.

There was a government job posted recently that I am at least qualified to apply for. It would be a good job and I would have to get more training. I think it would be a good job that would have me in an office some of the time and out doing field work some of the other time. I wouldn't have to move and still be able to farm.

8 weeks.

Sophia is getting more and more active and alert every day. Amanda has been doing a great job with her and I am glad that I am able to work and provide for my family so that she gets to stay home with our daughter. Amanda has mentioned that she is starting to get a little stir crazy though so we need to find more occasions to get out of the house. We have been able to go to my parents a couple of times and snuck off to her parents a couple of times also. Amanda is getting a little more comfortable having Sophia out and about but she still has anxiety about the baby being "passed around like she is a bomb." I understand her dilema and try to heed off what I can when I can.

Amanda brought up to me that I need to hold her more accountable to how she might be interacting with me. Occasionaly she gets upset with me and I just stand there and take what she has to say. Afterwards she reflects on this and feels bad about it. I can't bring myself to argue or raise my voice against her. She has some basis for how she is feeling I need to let her get it out every once in a while.

We are going in for Sophias two month well baby appointment this wednesday and get to hear some more official word about her gains and what we can expect in the upcoming weeks.

Farming has taken a turn for the worse around here. The tobacco crop got blown around from heavy rains and high winds. We haven't been able to get in a crew of amigos yet. Grandpa says he is done after this year and dad seems to be in step with him. We may have a great year for the corn and soybeans but tobacco is what makes our farms down here profitable. I think I may have an in with a school down in florida so I need to pursue teaching and a career there if it is a possibility.

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baby girl

Our baby daughter has made it to our world. Sophia Roselinn Hauke was born on June 22nd, around 3:15 pm. We have had her home for nearly three weeks now and mommy and her have started to settle in and find a routine. The baby hasn't been quite as much work as what I thought it would be up until now. However I need to find more things I can do since I need to be supporting Amanda as much as I can. Amanda has been putting up a heroic effort, but I think she is starting to get fatigued. Between letting them both get as much sleep and rest as they can, I am a bit limited on how much I get to interact with them both. They will both get used to our new home life and things will get better then.

Having a baby here at home has been all kinds of fun for me. Watching her and learning about her movements and tendencies is really cool. I am going to be pretty excited as she is able to do more and more.

I have been trying to get together a good paragraph about the new mommy for the baby book. I have a good start, but I feel that it falls short of how I think Amanda is. I can't quite get a good easy description of her that Sophia will be able to read and think "he got my mom just right." Amanda wrote the section about me perfectly before I had time to turn around and I don't want mine to seem lazy.

The job search hasn't been going real well. I have had four interviews and three of them have not worked out in my favor. The last one I had I was really excited about after I left, but I haven't heard back from the school. It was going to be really great for a couple of reasons. First, it is a salary job with a benefit schedule and options. Second, I would have small classes and a 90 minute planning period. Third, it would give Amanda and me the chance to see if we want to live here or move elsewhere. Fourth, it wouldn't give me as much flexibility with farming as what I have now. I just can't be sure that farming and agriculture are the career that is going to provide for my family anymore.

comfort in farming

I finally found some time to sit down and do some blogging. I have been busy the past couple of days with farming. We finally got caught up with what we could do and that has allowed me to sit at my desk and do some white collar work that I needed done.


The first thing or more immediate need was working on some things for chatfield for this summer. I have a syllabus ready for the math class I am teaching. I need to get the policies in place with the schedule and then start making plans for each individual class. Sixteen classes shouldn't be to hard to plan for but I don't know what type of students I am going to have. The course is a remedial course designed so the students can take a type of assessment test and qualify for a course that gives credit that other colleges will accept. I have looked through the first three chapters and the material doesn't seem difficult, but I don't know what level my students will be at.

I am also trying to plan on taking a course  this summer. I need to take three semester hours at a four year university so that I can renew my Ohio teaching certificate. So chatfield and southern state are out. I found a course that would fit my schedule real well, but wilmington wants a more in tuition than either of those cheaper places.

I also have come to the conclusion that I need a full time teaching job by the end of the summer. Financially we will make it until I get the corn harvested but things are going to be close for a while. I can bring in some money with the chatfield job and working for the post office. Things have happened that have shown me that I need to consider other work outside of farming. My biggest fear is that we will have to move from the house we have put so much work in. The renovations have come together to give Amanda and me a real nice place for our baby. Being able to provide and care for those two is going to be my job as a husband and father. I am not sure anymore that I can do that with much comfort farming anymore.

Ideally I would find a job that doesn't require us to move. I am not sure if that is best in the long run though. Amanda has said this place has grown on her and she is more comfortable with the rest of my family having such a close address. I am getting more open to moving away and starting over though. My capacity as a farmer is limited here. My capacity to provide for a family is limited here. If I get a job that requires a new start somewhere, I will strongly consider it. I can use my farming income to pay off the majority of our debts and then live on the annually increasing salary and steady benefits of a teaching salary. I can give my family consistent family time and leisure time for each other.

Out of all the other things on my plate, the most important and noteworthy is the impeding arrival of my daughter. Amanda has just started on week 36 and after next week she will be medically cleared to have the baby when natures says it is time. Having a child of our own is one of the reasons we wanted to get married. I hope we don't have to wait until the july 3rd due date we have been told chiefly the reason being that Amanda can not get much comfort at all and I can't do much to help her. She has so much she doesn't like about how she is now and all I can do is try and reassure her that things will get back to how she wants them. I can't seem to do much right so all I am able to do is sit back and not aggravate to much. Out of all the things that I think I have to do, Amanda feels even more overwhelmed about everything that she feels she has to do. Having the baby in our arms is going to give us both some immediate comfort and relief, but that doesn't mean things will be easier once the baby is here. We will still have diapers to change and babies to feed and rest to get when we can.

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The first month

It has been a calender month since Royce has left us. Four weeks ago today we were all sitting around in shock about how one of us wasn't going to be with us anymore. I don't know for sure how I am doing. I visited the site of his wreck and now I wan't to look that direction every time I go by it from the highway. I haven't done any crying. I feel more and more remorse each time something comes up that reminds me of something he was around for. Amanda always describes how I am so even tempered with my emotions and this is really showing her point. I haven't been able to show any emotion. I do miss him, it is just slowly building to how much I really miss him.

The services we had in his memory were tremendous. The visitation lasted over eight hours and many folks waited in line for at least four hours. The funeral service ended up being very full and the procession had about seventy cars in it. My family has taken the initiative and purchased several more lots at the Mowrystown cemetery. My parents have a life insurance policy on all of us kids, so they were able to recoup the eight grand the funeral home got for all their services.

Farming wise things are good. I am renting all my ground this year so by this time next year I will know if I am going to be able to do enough as a farmer to raise a family. My dad farms about five hundred acres and that has been enough for his family. I only have about two hundred.

Today we are going to test Amanda for gestational diabetes. Starting in may we will be going to birthing classes and being prepared in that regards. Amanda has taken so much initiative on everything that by the time I feel I have a question or topic she is already an expert on the subject. I am glad that we were able to let her leave work and give her the time and space to prepare for our child. We are at thirthy weeks and the due date is going to be upon us sooner than we think.

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Tragedy

I have lost my brother to a car accident. He was 26. He was much more popular and social than I ever was. He left behind his own business and a home that he loved. He left behind family and friends that are going to miss him. My parents and grandparents are shocked that he passed the way he did and when he did. I am going to miss him. We weren't really social with each other, and didn't really have all that much in common as we advanced in our own lifes and ideologies. It is a schock to me that he passed the way he did also. It seemed to me that because of his occupation he took more risks on the road than necessary. Because he fixed cars he acted as if any accident was going to be solvable because he could fix the damage he caused. God found an accident he couldn't get out of and now he is not with us.

I used the context of the events to relay to Amanda that she should reconcile with her brother. I don't know exactly how much he did of what he did to cause her to shun him. I don't like the possibility of losing a family member that you were angry with. I am glad that I was in my brothers good graces, even if we weren't social among the time he had on this earth.

One step forward, Two steps back

When I first moved back home from college, the day after my 24th birthday, I spent two days moving things from one house to another. I then weight myself and the scale said 238. This was way more than I ever hoped to be and by the time I turned 25 I was closer to 210. Most of the weight was what I would consider "alcoholic bloat." Since then I have slowly gotten closer to 200, with efforts that included spending plenty of time on the treadmill and doing P90X. Those efforts never really got me under 200, but I am now a couple of pounds under that and feel that I could continue losing more weight. After all the effort I had done before it comes down to eating better and eating a lighter meal once a day. Amanda fixes me healthier food to eat that what I was shoving down my gullett earlier. It turns out my diet has much more to do with weight loss than much anything else.

This however, is not sitting well with Amanda. She has stated before that she would like to have a heavier husband and my weight loss is not what she has in mind. She is also doing the natural thing a pregnant woman does and coming along just fine. She is really upset because of some conversations that we have had in the past that don't necessarily hold true. I once confessed that I didn't really want an overweight girlfriend or wife. We also talked about how pregnant women looked once, but I don't really remember what stance I took. Whatever stance I took, she thinks it applies to her and whenever I try to complement her and be a loving husband she doesn't believe me. Couple this with my current weight and I have an unhappy wife who doesn't want to hear anything I say.

In other news, I am now using financial software to keep track of my spending. I had a dog scratch me on stomach while delivering mail, and the incoming money is helping with the home improvement, which is nearing some conclusion pretty soon. We are going to find out the sex of the baby on our next pre-natal appointment. After the conctracters finish up, we are going to start cleaning out and fixing up some more aspects of the house. I plan on going to a job fair in march for teaching jobs in KY, but am not sure what I really want to do. I will probably make more money here as a farmer, but have more stability as a working stiff.

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Bengals in the playoffs

Things have been really busy for me the past couple of days. Working full time is cramping my usual pace of daily life. I am now making good time on the mail route, which gives my mind time to wander. This results in me thinking of all the things I need to accomplish when I get home. On one hand, I am getting things done around the house, but on the other hand I am more tired than usual. By the time I get home I am pretty amped up abut what I can do that evening.

I am getting really anxious about having the home ready for the baby. My contracter gave me an estimate that was out of my spending capability, so the home improvement is going to be on an incremental basis. I think we can afford to get all the floor done, and install and finish a bathroom and hallway. After that, the new bedroom and drywalling and trim work will have to wait. I am really getting apprehensive about Amandas future dreams of a "new"house. By the time I have this house paid off, I will have at least 60 grand in it. That seems like a big number to bulldoze to the ground one day. I would much prefer to constantly add rooms and buildings and additions. I have some good plans for the future, hopefully the house will be comfortable as the family grows.

We bought or more accurately financed a new mattress and box springs this weel also. The deal I had previously was worn and getting to be less comfortable, especially for Amanda. What we bought is much better, and I can feel a difference when I lay down. However, when I wake up I don't feel any more rested. I am glad we have a nicer mattress though, it was time for a change. We still have the old mattress as a guest mattress. I am not sure where it is going to go though, since we don't have a guest bedroom and really only have one bedroom at the moment. I am guessing it will go in the room that our baby is getting eventually, but that will get less ideal as the baby grows in size.

My grandparents are wintering in their Florida residence for a couple of more weeks. Some of their friends think I can get a job with my science teaching certificate.  I would hate to move away and start all over, but I think Amanda would like such a change. The salary is in the bottom half among states, but Florida is nice and sunny. I don't know what I would do with myself if I got away from being a farmer.

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