Not good nor ever good.

I read some good articles yesterday. The first article described how nontheists are apparently putting up billboards that say "are you good without God? Millions are." This apparently means to swing more people into thinking that being good is something that you can achieve. This may be true for a nontheist, but based on the article, the only "good" in God's eyes is perfection. I don't think I can ever achieve perfection. I don't do enough right or good to be at that point. I don't think I am going around doing bad things, but really could be doing more to be a better person. I don't pray enough nor do I do enough for other people. Similar to the message from the book of Eli, I should be doing more for others than I do for myself. That will help me do better.

The other article was about respect in relationships. I like to think that I am respectful to the women I try to talk to and the ones I do converse with. I don't anticipate anyone giving in to any charm I have and immediately falling for me. I like to find out what I can about a woman and get to know them. Part of the feeling I get out of talking to girls is getting to know someone as a person. I wasn't getting that at bars or parties, especially when I was not staying sober. I don't think I look at women as sexual objects. I am not asking them terribly personal questions or probing their history. To me a relationship has to develop. Any relationship worth having will take some work. I am not friends with many people outside of my family, and maybe I should take more time to befriend other people.

I am also ready for my netflix movie review. Sling Blade was okay, I wasn't really expecting much. It was too much of a classic or I had heard to much about it to say that I am too good to watch it. Shiri was an okay action flick, but was just to over the top for me to really like. Also most of it was in another language and reading subtitles gets boring after so long. I also watched 500 days of summer. The movie was not as good as I thought it would be. The guy got screwed over though, putting all that time and commitment into the girl only for the girl to break up with him and be engaged a short time later. It really hurt when she told him that she felt a way about the new guy that she never felt about the protaganist. That can go both ways though, I kind of got to that point with my last girlfriend back in 2008. I got to the point where I didn't think she was the one for me and broke up with her soon after.

Clueless

Well the high school homecoming season is upon me tonight. I thought I would share some of my stories and thoughts on such activities. I only remember going to three dances while I was in high school. The fist one I went to was prom my sophomore year. I went with a senior after she expressed interest. She was practically living at my parents house, because she lived so far away and played on the basketball team with my freshman aged sister. I had my afro at the time. I didn't go to any post-prom parties and spent the first half of the day working at our greenhouse. I had heard some rumors that she had just broken up with her boyfriend, but I was really disinterested in doing anything with anyone. After prom all I remember is going home and going to bed. She probably went to a party and partied hard or something. I was clueless to any social scene in high school anyways.

I can't remember going to any dances with any dates my junior year of high school. I probably stayed home and played video games those nights.

My senior year went a little better. I asked a friend out for homecoming and we went and had a good time. I dropped her off at her house after the dance and went home. The next morning at CCD, I went over some of the details of my date and said I wasn't really interested in dating her. By the time prom rolled around, one of the guys from my CCD class was dating her, and they are now married. So if nothing else, I gave a friend the courage to pursue this girl after he seen my inaction combined with a lack of disinterest. I already talked about my senior prom date and how my sister likely blackmailed her boyfriend into getting me a date with a person who is now an art teacher.

My freshman year of college, I almost asked a girl if she would take me as her date to her high schools prom. We were decent friends as it was, but I never got up the courage. We rode together to some type of overnighter at the maysville YMCA. She was going to go with her twin brother, who was my sisters ex boyfriend by about two years at that time. I had a thought in my mind that she might like to not go with her brother, but never acted on it. We both ended up going to OSU and very few of my ag college friends believed that I knew her back in high school. She filled out a lot between her senior year of high school and freshman year of college, and became much more attractive. I remember seeing her once at the fair once when I was about 15 or 16. She could have passed for a 5th or 6th grader at the time, she was incredibly small and skinny. I had no idea who she was for the longest time.

Well anyways that is the extent of my high school romantic dance experience. I was really disinterested and never had enough gumption to make life better for myself anyways.

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Flip flopped

Tonight while I was working out, I think I made a good decision. I had mentioned before on this blog that I would like to go watch the Cavaliers play the Pacers in Indianapolis when they played on January 29th. I had decided this because I didn't want to be the type of fan that calls themselves a fan and never goes to that teams games. In the past year I have been to Reds games, Buckeyes games, and Bengals games. I also went to a Cyclones game once, but that had more to do with cheap beer night than being part of a fanbase.

At any rate I changed my mind. I have found a girl that seems interested in me. I spent the better part of 6 hours with her sunday and since then have only talked on IM services, probably less than either of us would have liked. I should shoulder most of the blame here, since I have gone to three basketball games in the last four nights. The Cavs game would have made four in five and I don't think this new girl is enough of a basketball fan to appreciate four games in five nights. At any rate, I decided that that I should stay home and give myself a chance to spend more time with her. She is the most attractive girl that I know from pof and seems like the nicest and most appreciative of rural life I have talked to. I can't let this girl or any other girl lose interest because I wanted to go to a basketball game by myself to Indianapolis.

I am also likely going to tell her about this blog soon. It might be nice to have another reader.

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Phase 2

Well today I finished what would be considered phase 2 of the P90X workout. I think my weight may be down to 197, but I was really expecting my weight loss to be even more by this point. I thought if I did the lean workout I would lose some more weight. It probably would help if I was following the diet plan they sent me. I have not prepared one meal of from that book. The before and after picture series shots that I am taking aren't showing much progress either. I'm not sure if I will get to a good physique or not in the next 5 weeks of phase 3.

I have also decided that I don't really like working out. I much prefer to get my fitness from running. I don't like following a set of what to do all that much. I'm not sure if I will get to running outdoors or not, but running give my mind time to wander and think. I am really looking forward to being done so I can get back to running aimlessly again. I might do some of the workouts on their own everyonce in a while, but likely not the lifting ones. I might come back to yoga or x stretch, kenpo, and maybe core synergistics.

I also am getting really lazy about my workouts. Several times I have taken days off and then did a double the next day just to catch up. I really should be doing following the schedule a little closer. I had to do two today just to finish phase 2 when I should have done the first workout of phase 3. I might do my first one when I get home after the ball game tonight.

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being average

Well today I had a job interview for something I am completely unqualified for. I am not sure why I applied even. I read the job qualifications and while I do have the bachelors degree and an education background, being a loan officer is one of the farthest things from my mind. I really don't like thinking about money and percentages of money and growth rates or whatever else it is someone does in finances. The interview itself wasn't all that bad. I was glad they didn't ask what I thought my greatest strength was. I hate answering that question. That and what is my greatest weakness. I don't do anything especially great or poor in my opinion. Maybe I will just say "being average" next time I am asked that question.

I did get to walk around downtown columbus and wear my new/found/mine now winter jacket. When I moved into the house I am in now, there was a heavy old time winter jacket hanging up in the attic. It fit me so I had it dry cleaned and got to wear it out today. It did a real good job of keeping me warm. Now I just have to decided if it would be socially acceptable for my part of appalachia. I did see some fellas and ladies wearing similar newer jackets in c-vegas today, but that is a different culture than the BC. I showed my maternal grandma the jacket once and she said that it was from a real popular department store when she was younger. So the jacket has some years on it, but I do like it.

I am beginning to notice that being at my parents house wears Walter down a bit. I have been dropping him off there when I go to basketball games and when I get him back to my house he is perfectly willing to get some sleep. This is a good thing.

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plot device

Yesterday I went and seen my first play that I had seen in a long time. The play was good, albeit mostly because of its plot device. We were watching the play through the imagination of the narrator. He was listening to a record of a musical that his mom had given him. We got to see the characters as he imagined them and and he would occasionally stop the play to tell us something he thought was interesting. In the end, everyone ended up pairing off and getting married. The songs were creative and most of the characters got their own song that gave us some insight to their character.

I think I will set my goal at seeing six different plays this year. That would be one every month and I already have seen one. I wonder if I will always be able to get half price tickets.

Walter is also fast approaching medium dog size. I weighed him at 14.5 pounds yesterday and once he gets to 20 pounds he will be a medium dog. When I first weighed him he was about 9 pounds.

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Remember the duck

I heard another good sermon at church today. The sermon was about how God allowed the jews to return to jerusalem after they had been exiled to babylon for 50 years. At least I think that was what happened, the reading was from Nehemiah that I have already read. At any rate, the sermon was how God is willing to forgive any sin that is committed as long as you ask. I do have some sins that I need to confess. I never did have any doubt that I could be forgiven, but it is good to know that I will be forgiven when I ask and or confess.

The entertainment part of the story was good also. This kid was learning to shoot with a new slingshot when he killed his grandmothers favorite duck. His sister seen it happen and guilted him into all kinds of chores by whispering to him "remember the duck." After a couple of days of this, the boy confessed to his grandma about the duck, but she said she saw it happen and had already forgiven him. She was just willing to see how long he would be enslaved by the sister.

We also had some new converts or something of that effect at church today. For whatever reason catholics like to involve some training or background on the catholic faith for adults entering the faith. I am not really sure why this is necessary, but as tracy jones says on his radio show, "it is what it is."

I also heard another good thing on the radio this week. The host of the show was noticing that most of the relief funds for Haiti were coming from christian sources. The so-called "religions of peace" had contributed very little and historically have not done such. The United States apparently donates so much that other non donating countries feel bad. They should feel bad.

appalachian traditions

Today I read two interesting stories about the education system in BC. In the first story, the school that was to good to have me as a teacher, is going to have to cut 400,000 from their budget by this coming june. Maybe they should stop building new buildings and cut some programs that aren't necessary for graduation requirements. I'm looking at the ag programs. Those are going to be gone as soon as they get the chance. Ag is a class that bends to todays curricula and doesn't real teach agriculture anymore. All of the contests they make are for public speaking and good book keeping. Being able to farm is more a function of your family background and desire, not what you learn in school. That is going to be gone along the ways of shop class. They really should keep the fine arts programs though. I was never in any of them, but the practice and focus those programs teach their students is worth the time. If I was interested in taking even one year of any of them, I would have graduated with honors from my school, but I decided it wasn't important enough.

I also read about a principal who was unwilling to give me a chance. Two years now I have put my resume or interest in for a science education job. This summer when I went in and dropped of the paperwork they asked for, he told me something interesting. He told me that the person that I was applying to replace also had an ag certification. That seemed funny to me since when I applied the previous year he wasn't going to be able to hire me since I only had an ag certification. If he was going to lie to me about something, I don't feel sorry that he is under such scrutiny now. He tries to pawn off a student having a pocketknife at school out of his pocket in class as some type of "appalacian traditions."

While I do like to claim appalachia as where I am from, i don't think it has any bearing on me as a person. I lived in the westernmost ohio border of applachia for most of my life. Like many kids today, I rarely have a use for a pocketknife. I don't make moonshine, and have only had moonshine a couple of times. I am trying to learn the banjo, but mainly because I didn't think the guitar appealed to me. I may wear work boots more than tennis shoes nowadays, but that is more of a function of my lifestyle. Being a hillbilly is the farthest thing from most kids minds. Very few people find the appeal of living a simple life and staying in the hills of somewhere.

damn it feels good to be a farmer

Today was a good day. After lunch I got to help dad work on a disk of ours. I do like working with my hands given the chance. I really can't wait to get done with my masters so I can start to tackle some things that I think should be done around our farm. That and I would be able to play videogames in good conscience of not having something better to do. I don't like staying in all the time and trying to think about what I should be typing. Blogging is fun, but it really is a distraction. I am also looking forward to getting back into the greenhouse also. Spending time in that warm place and working over plants to watch them grow is really cool. That really won't start until late february but I am looking forward to it.

I sometimes wonder what I might have done different in college. Currently my main thought is that I should have majored in science education and minored in ag education. However, I also wonder where I would be if I worked me towards a plant science degree that let me work in a greenhouse. I really liked my horticulture production classes better than my ag ed classes. I had the hardest time memorizing plants and their latin names, but I would work that out if I spent more time in a greenhouse. I think my grandma is a bit disappointed with me in that area. She has worked hard to establish our business and I really don't have enough knowledge to take it over if or when the time comes. One of these days I am going to quit sub teaching and commit myself to our greenhouses. We can make a fair amount of money doing the work, and I am the most interested in the area. If I had any business sense or liked thinking about money, I might be more proactive in management of the greeenhouse. With my spanish speaking ability, I think I could get a job in a nursery somewhere.

I also have a weird thought about my dog. Walter has a black nose and a black lip right under his nose. It kind of looks like a hitler mustache. I kind of hope he grows out of it but still grin at him most of the time now.

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Unsettled

Well I don't think I am going to achieve my goals from my six months to get it done post. I am going to have to shoot for the end of february which makes an extra month and an undetermined amount of tuition to pay. Then I will have a masters degree and still wonder why I don't have a job. As compared to now, I don't have a job or a masters degree. 

I also managed to go three days between posts. I wonder if bloggers block is real.

I also had trouble sleeping last night. I was juggling to instant message conversations last night and they both left me unsettled. One of the girls asked me why I have never been married and don't have any kids. I am not sure what she was trying to find out about me, but I think I answered appropriately. I told her that it never worked out with the two serious girlfriends that I have had and that I kept it in my pants enough to not have kids. Then I asked her how she ended up in the town she was in, and got her to laugh when I told her that I live alone because "roommates are for poor people."

The other conversation might have been about dating advice. I'm not sure now that I am typing about it. Anyways, this friend found out someone is "not really" seeing someone he has been bringing to church. I advised her that if that is the case, she better get in there and let him know what she wants. There probably is more than what I was told. I kind of wish that I could go around with girls and then say that I am "not really" seeing anyone at the time. For as cautious as she seems to be, the "not really" thing strikes me as odd.

A couple of weeks ago I was asked why guys go after some girls and not other girls. Yesterday I read a good article that I think might have summed that question up. The article was on my favorite spiritual site. The article compared a good quality girl to an expensive pair of shoes that you have to work and save for. While the guy is waiting and working for the expensive quality pair, he may find a lesser adequate pair of shoes. The lower quality pair of shoes is easier for the guy and he goes for those instead of the high quality pair. All the while the expensive shoes are the ones that are better and are the ones that should have been desired. Taking the easy way out is not waiting for the better product. I don't know if I subliminally do this or not. I would like to think I stake out high quality girls for my life style and dating personality, but they don't always recriprocate.

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WWRPHD?

I just finished watching a movie wherein the premise was humanity was going to die so the earth could live. I spent most of the movie wondering what I would do if I thought my final hours were imminent. I decided that I would probably sit at my house and read the Bible. Not as a last hope measure, but more as a sign of faith. Going to a church and listening to a spiritual leader would be a good idea. I think that everyone else would have the same idea though and I don't really like crowds that much. Going to my parents would be a big distraction, there would be to much commotion for me to be able to concentrate how I would want to. On the other hand it would be comforting to them if they had more family around. I don't think I would be calling any friends I had or making any condolences to any friends. If I let something go that long, my end would not really be an honest apology. I would like to think that I resolve my interpersonal issues as they come up. I don't really have a loved one that I would try to spend more time with at this point. If I didn't have anyone romantically special to me, I would just stay in my house and wait it out. Death is not something to be scared of. Running around and making myself anxious would not be a solution.

I also want to get my thoughts on the Haiti disaster on here. What has happened there is a great tragedy. Much like what happened in New Orleans and other coastal zones though, I have an opinion. I can't really bring myself to feel really sorry about people who live near what might be described as a tropical zone. Days here in Ohio really remind me that living in such a place has its risks and rewards. We live high enough in the hills here that a flood wouldn't really get to me. Living in a place with a temperate climate year round has some downsides. Earthquakes aren't usually a downside, but I don't have the upside of being near an ocean either. I realize that this is a unfriendly opinion about people who don't really have a means to make that much of a lifestyle change. If I was born in such a place, I would likely think it is great and wonder why people would want to live in such a boring place such as Ohio

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Mr. Rainmaker

Last night on the way to the Buckeyes game was the worst conditions that I had driven in for sometime. Once I got past hilltown, the roads were foggy and I couldn't see at all past my headlights. This lasted nearly all the way to columbus. Then on the way home it was still foggy nearly all the way to the outlets. The game itself was good, the buckeyes played their game well and got the win against the buzzcuts. I was hoping Mr. Rainmaker would get to play and record another trillion, but it didn't happen. 

I also love watching titus's club trillion highlight video that he made for his NBA tryout. It is hilarious and should be watched by everyone who is an OSU fan or a basketball fan. Mr. Rainmaker did an excellent job. 

The more I watch my GLEE dvd, the funnier the show is. When Sue calls wheelchair ramps lazymakers, I nearly fall off  my couch. When I first started watching the show, I thought it was going to be funnier. I  usually like all the songs they perform and can't help but smile during them. 

I also feel a bit ashamed. My favorite spiritual site made up a list pertaining to unhealthy dating relationships. In my last relationship, at least four of them were happening. I need to strive to do more things right in the next relationship I am in. Lets hope I get the chance someday. 

I have also decided to start a new sunday feature on my blog. It will be a type of weekly netflix movie review of the movies I seen last week. First off, Idiocracy was pretty funny. Dax Sheppard's character was hilarious. When he said 'batin to try to get someone to leave and asked what the minus of 20 and 30 is only to believe 80 was great. Lady Vengeance was a good movie, but didn't end quite how I thought it would, it ended better than expected. Following a film with subtitles is a bit hard, but watching good 'ole american movies is a bit bland at times. Its good to expand what I can consider watchable. 

Also, LOL, my church put LOLcats in the bulletin this week. While I can always laugh at a good LOLcat picture, church bulletins are not the appropriate place for them. 

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Eli

Well tonight I seen the movie "The Book of Eli." Without giving to much away, I thought this was a good movie. It made me glad that I was taking the effort to read the Bible in the way that I am. Like Eli said, you realize what is valuable when you don't have enough. This turned out to be the case for what was the last Bible on earth. I thought the movie was going to be about a forgotten or hidden book of the Bible, but was pleasantly surprised by how it turned out. Mila Kunis was okay, but I was confused by her motives at the end.

I also had a third date with the same girl tonight. I gave it a shot and it just doesn't feel right with this girl. I can stand up to three casual dates with a person, but feel that I should be able to tell after that if it is a person I want to be more serious about dating and committing to after that time frame. I don't want to date all the time just so I am occupying my time. At my age and adult status, dating has to have a purpose. I have a clear goal of finding the right woman for me and establishing a long lasting relationship. I think I should have a pretty idea if a person might fulfill that role.

I am also going to buy my first play tickets tomorrow, for a play called drowsy chaperone.  I can get tickets for half off, but they are for a sunday evening performance and I have a job interview the next day. I'm still gonna go though, I resolved to do more in 2010 and january is a good month to start.

couldn't think of a clever title

Well today I sold the remainder or my tobacco crop. Smokers of the world will have some options for the forseeabe future. It would seem that I roughly made about 14 grand off of my six acres. I would like to grow more and committ more time to farming, but we are limited by barns and how many amigos we can house. Oh well.

I have decided to do a couple of things with this money initially. First, I need to buy health insurance. I have been uninsured since august of 2007, and some things shouldn't be put off anymore. My vision needs checked, and I probably need some new frames and contact lenses. I haven't been to the dentist for a while either. Lucky for me, my dentist brags to me about my "perfect" teeth. Usually when I go in for a checkup, I only have to get some plaque removed. I still should go, I doubt any potential dates would be comfortable if it got out that I haven't been to the dentist for such a long time. I do brush my teeth daily, but a checkup can't hurt. I am also going to buy a satellite ready CD player for my truck. The sportster 5 I bought is underperforming for what I expect from a paid service. The rest is going in my bank account and will hopefully cover putting out this years corn crop.

I also want to talk about my smoking and tobacco use history. I have already mentioned being a two time dipper and not enjoying or getting anything out of it. Growing up, both of my parents smoked and I didn't really see why I would want to try that. I eventually gave in and smoked my first cigarette about two months before I turned 22. I never did smoke much. The only time I smoked was when I was drinking, or had been drinking. I never have taken a sober smoke. I did get in to smoking some before the indoor ban came into effect in columbus. I probably reached a peak of personal smoking when I was 23, the summer before I moved back home. I would occasionaly carry around my own pack and lighter. The last cigarette that I smoked was at 4th of july 2009. I don't think I have ever smoked in the house I live in now and don't really see myself smoking any more anyways. One of the reasons I would smoke when drinking was to slow down how much I was actually drinking. Now that I rarely do any heavy drinking, I don't think I will do any causal smoking. I really don't miss either of them that much anymore.  Most of the cigarettes I had were free cigarettes from a bar anyways.

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Dog thoughts

I am beginning to think that the hairiest part of a dog is their neck. I gave Walter a bath the other day and decided this. I looked over my other dogs and decided that the neck was the thickest part of them for hair also. I can't decide what darwinian feature this is for, but it must serve some purpose. Unfortunately for dogs, this is also where fleas can easily hide in.

I also have to laugh at Walter when he sleeps. He was sleeping on my chest today while I was taking my daily nap and breathed rapidly almost the whole time. He also growls at things in his sleep and sometimes kicks his feet. I also snapped some pictures of him laying on his back with his feet up in the air when he is asleep. They will be on FB soon enough.

He is getting better about being outside in the snow but not quite good enough at jumping on couches yet. He technique is to sit back, propel himself up and forward, but not leave his back feet. If he would leave his back feet he would be way more successful. Most of the time he just lunges forward as if he was doing some ballistic stretch.

I also have some type of job interview coming up. One of my moms friends told her about a job/intern deal with a local ag company. I filled out an application and received an email today that I am eligible for one of two spots being offered. It didn't say that I was qualified, just eligible. I am not even sure what the job is at this point. It might not even pay anything. I have to make a call tomorrow to find more out. I would love to get a job of any type. I do have to worry about the farming lifestyle I have established. Dad and grandpa are so keen on doing things the hard way that they need a third person around for most of the summer. If I am away, that gets tougher for them. Sure, if I had a supplementary income I could buy some bigger and better equipment that might help them cut some time. I just don't know though. I am going to need more than what I make now if I ever start a family and want to pay off all my debts. I don't know if farming will allow me to do that.

I did buy my reds hat ticket package deal today. I am looking forward to going and now wonder how much it might cost me for an opening day ticket. I really don't want to go my whole life without ever being at an opening day. I really don't see a reason to put it off until old age either. The sooner I can make that happen, the better for me.

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Song of Songs

Well last night I finished another book of the Bible. I cant decide if this book was actually a song or more of a poem as I believe plenty of olde time literature was. Regardless, I liked the focused condensed theme of this book. The imagery between the speakers was not something you hear much of in todays language. I would like to think of more to say about this book but will return to read it again later if and when I ever find a girlfriend.

I also feel compelled to do something but know that I probably won't. I have a friend that occasionally decides or declares they are ready for good things. At least once and maybe twice I have taken this as a sign that I should ask her out on a date. At least once and maybe twice I have been politely turned down. I know that I am not going to be the dos equis pitchman anytime soon and should just submit that she is not interested in dating me. I am developing a decent friendship with her so I should just let that come along and not ask for dates anymore. If nothing else I like to think I am paying attention to what she says or has told me.

I am planning on buying some reds tickets soon also. They have a promotion wherein you buy a four pack of tickets and you get four classic hats. It sounds interesting at a minimum, but I don't know if the hats are made to be worn or are collectibles. They also signed a new pitcher yesterday so that should hopefully improve the team.

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two flushers

Starting next month I will have lived in the same house for two years. I moved in to my current place in february 2008 after living right down the road with my brother for about 18 months. The house became available and my neighbor was able to rent to me fairly cheap. When I first moved out I thought my brother might want the place. He had a pregnant girlfriend at the time and things were moving fast for him. I didn't want to live in a house with him, a baby, and a baby's mama. He said he didn't want to move out of the house he was currently in, so I moved out. He was also having parties there every night and smoking in the house and expecting me to clean up after him. I was pretty happy to move out to say the least. The worst part for me was the heating. The winter before we bought fuel oil and spent plenty of money heating the house. The next winter we worked a little more and had a basement full of firewood to heat the house with. I kept the furnace going pretty well and had the house in the 80's most of the time. He would come in at night and open windows because he couldn't sleep. Then his friends would come over when nobody was there and open up windows and doors also. That was just rude to me. I don't show up at someone else's place and start belly aching about how hot it is or isn't. I don't show up somewhere, open the door and then leave a half hour later. I don't show up somewhere and burn up all the firestarting firewood and then wonder why the person living there is angry.

Anyways I had a different theme in mind when I started. When I first moved into my house something happened that had not happened in a while. I clogged up the toilet about three times in two weeks. Since then I still go so much that I have to plunge the toilet about once a month. Last night I took ten minutes going and had to do a flush in between and one after also. I must be more comfortable in this house or something. The bathroom here is much nicer anyways. At my brothers current place you can stand in the bathroom and easily touch any three of the walls. It was very cramped. My bigger bathroom now is almost bigger than a room I had for a quarter in college. It is much nicer than the bathroom in my brothers old place. I am not sure about having a closet so close to a toilet, but up until this spring I didn't own the place. Now that I own the place I can spend some money to make renovations that will suit me better.

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how to beat the cold

Well the bengals season came to an end yesterday. I can't say that I was surprised at the results after the previous weeks game. We stayed until about 5 minutes left in the fourth, and would have left sooner if Benson didn't get that last touchdown. I did manage to stay pretty warm. I had on a pair of running tights, jeans, insulated bibs, a sweater, two hooded sweatshirts, three pairs of socks, a pair of insulated boots, a hooded hat, a fitted hat, a scarf and a columbia winter jacket and gloves. Ultimately the water from the melted snow proved to be too cold and my feet got cold. I ended up convincing Dr. weber to go and also went with double T and Dr. Tim.

I have also recently had the occasion to watch some japanese cinema. That is a mistake I am going to not have to repeat. The first film was nearly a porn and had weak camera work and writing. The second movie I watched was a kind of a short collection of movies, but were also obscene. All three movies had blood and death. The next time I get curious and watch a foreign film, it is going to be recommended.

I also must have the only dog around that gets hiccups. However he did sleep all night last night after I got back from the bengals game. Playing with a toy yorkie must have worn him out.

Ecclesiastes

Well I finished another Book of the Bible today. I thought that Ecclesiastes was a very pessimistic chapter at times. We as a people do many things that are meaningless in the face of God. We think that what we are doing can make us happy, when often times that is not the case. At the end of our days we might end up in the same condition as a person who had a way different prospect on life. I took a good message from this book though. The only way to have meaning from life is to do what makes you content and satisfied. Don't try to compete with others and don't spend your life doing what does not satisfy you. I like teaching now because I like being able to help students and and advance their knowledge. Thinking that I can encourage someone is a good thing. I also really don't like trying to one up a person. It gets me no where and is really to much of a thought process to outthink someone. Let them have it their way and be happy. I am happy doing what others ask most of the time.

I have also been recently made to wonder why I turned to online dating. I think the best answer I can come up with is that I don't know that it won't work. If I knew how I was going to meet the one for me, I would be trying to achieve that. As it is right now, online is still a viable option. Sure, I can also point out how shy I am, and how there aren't many social options besides alcoholism around here, but why should I hang my hat on those and give up. I think I will make a great boyfriend and then husband and family man. I can't wait to get started with that part of my life. I can't just quit because I haven't found and also convinced a girl that I can and will be that person. I try or at least want to pursue other dating options. I go to my church. I would like to put myself out there where I can meet a good girl. That means going to concerts, perhaps a museum, maybe even volunteering. The key is the more I increase my visibility, the better chance I have at meeting the one for me. I can also point to sub teaching. I never know who is going to have a niece or cousin or know someone that might be a good fit for me. I might even get lucky and find a teacher somewhere that could go for me. The key is just getting myself out there and letting myself be vulnerable. Whenever I am browsing profiles, I often think to myself "nothing ventured, nothing gained." If I want something to happen, I have to be willing to let it happen.

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PLAYOFFS!

Well we sold some more tobacco today. We had some that got rejected, which in our case meant it was too moist and we have to try and dry it out some more. Overall it sold pretty good though.

We took one of our amigos today and he yielded some good information for us. He says that all of the latino help there are illegals. I like working on the right side of the law as a good christian should. I am a bit annoyed though. Why is our government telling us we could get a ten thousand dollar fine per head for employing illegals when a warehouse run by a tobacco company can employ over forty illegals? Why isn't the rule enforced? I do have to admit that we have had border jumpers before. They have told us they swam across the rio grande to get inside and then paid off someone called a coyote to get them somewhere where they could work. We have had mexican help on our farm since I was a high school sophomore and have been working with the H2A program the last three years. We might as well go back to less regulation and pay if the rules aren't going to be enforced. If we stay with the H2A program we have to pay more for hourly labor anyways. Currently dad is not sure if we can afford that and we are cautious about returning to the program.

In other news I have mixed feelings about this weekend. I have a ticket to the bengals playoff game. Well actually I have four tickets and have been deemed responsible as to assembling and coordinating the plan. I really like to be able to say or plan, that I am going to leave at a certain time and have minimal input from others. I now have to find a time that everyone can meet at, a place for them to meet at, and coordinate the rides. It looks like I am going to meet double T and Dr. T at Dr. T's office and then we are going to meet my sister and her husband at eastgate to head to the stadium. I still haven't heard from pharmacist Ron and doubt he even realizes what is going on at this point. I am excited about going to a NFL playoff game, especially one with my favorited bengals playing. However the weather is going to be unfriendly to staying any bit of warm. I am going to be very bundled up. I am still looking forward to getting there and making some noise though. I also have the option of seeing if I have any friends that would like to go. The brother of my brother in law bought a four pack and had two people leave him SOL. So if I can find an interested party to go, I have that option. I may have to break my NY resolution to do so, but nothing ventured nothing gained. It wouldn't really be breaking my resolution since I am doing a favor for others though.

I also heard the terrible news about Artie Lange today. I thought he was really great on the stern show and hope that he can get better. I have seen his one comedy DVD, and my brother has his other DVD. Its hard to say or speculate why someone would try to stab themselves nine times to commit suicide, but I hope he recovers. I would really like to go see one of his shows someday.

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Proverbs

Wisdom. After reading this Book, I have to think about how wise I am or are not. Am I doing enough to be wise? Do I listen more than I do spout off my opinions? I think that I am becoming closer to God and cutting some of the things out of my life that aren't furthering that relationship. I have to wonder if I am doing things right in the eyes of the Lord. I need to live more wise and work on my wisdom capacity. Reading the Bible all the way through is a good start.

I did decide on a frontrunner for my favorite scripture from Proverbs. "He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor." (Proverbs 21:21) That line stuck out to me the most from the first reading and I really like it. I am trying to think of my favorite scripture from Psalms, but that book had a bunch more content. I will definitely pick out one by the time I finish the Old Testament.

I also have recently been f-book friended by a reformed man now. He is the brother of a guy that my sister used to date and a graduate of no slowdown school. Apparently he realized that women money and drugs weren't never going to be enough and decided to be better Christian than what he was. His profile says that he is in Fiji now. I feel good about such a story and have a couple of thoughts of my own. Have I ever reached a low point like he did and needed to reform my life? Would I be wise enough to realize it?

chocolate milk

I almost have switched from alcohol abuse to chocolate milk abuse in the past two years. Usually when I go grocery shopping, I will buy at least two gallons of chocolate milk. Most of the time I will have both of them drunk within five or six days. When we have warm weather I have come home and drank a half a gallon after getting in and before going to bed. I usually drink my chocolate milk straight from the carton, I have less dishes to do that way.

I felt compelled to blog about this today because I had to switch to a new brand. My usual grocery store was all sold out the on new years day and I had to go without. By sunday I was jonesing for the stuff and went to the super k and did some shopping. They had some chocolate milk in stock and I bought my usual two gallons. The only problem is that the new stuff is a different brand that is a low grade quality than what I usually drink. It is almost not good enough to drink. It is very watered down and not very strong. I am going to have to avoid this brand from now on in the future. The worst part is that the new stuff was also more expensive. I had held out hope that it would be better, but it was fifty or sixty cents higher than what I usually paid for my chocolate milk.

I also heard back from two of our mexicans that went back to mexico early. Reyes got a call on new years eve eve and thought something was wrong. His dad and him wanted to go back to mexico to be with their family. It turns out that reyes grandmother was sick and had to go to the hospital. So it turns out that there was a family emergency and hopefully everything will be okay. I am not 100% sure that I can believe his story though. There is a rumor that the girl from the comeuppance post was pregnant and he was the father. My brother said that she was coming over and getting money from him for different tests and other money using activities. So I can't be certain that he didn't make all this up just to have a reason to get out of town right away. If things turn out to be true I won't know what to think. He would have done something very wrong by leaving, and she made a huge error in judgement by sleeping with a dude from another county that is not tied in locally.

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Brasil part II

Well today my brother took off for his study abroad to brazil. He got himself into the same honarary fraternity that I was in and one of the things they do is go to brazil as a study abroad. AZP also took a trip to D.C., a weekend trip to hocking hills and a leadership development weekend in columbus.

As I said before, if I went back to brazil I would want to go back to rio to see the christ the redemeer statue. That was probably the highlight of my trip. I did like the professors and everyone else I traveled with. Apparently the group thought that me and one of the other girls would make a good couple but I never was able to gain much common ground and we lost contact eventually.

We did get kind of lucky when I was in brazil. The time of year that I was there is usually the rainy season. It never did rain very much when I was there. It also stayed pretty warm and the beaches were nice. One day I swam out into what would be considered a danger zone. Swimming out there was risky, but the hard part was swimming back in. The surf got to be dangerous, especially the closer I got to the shore. Luckily for me I am an excellent swimmer or some form of excellence that did not allow drowning as an option.

For a while I had kept my last real or brazilian dollar in my wallet as a form of good luck. Then I lost my wallet in a tobacco field and haven't seen it since.

Well today was a bit of a waste. I barely got out of the house and didn't get much done. I did do my kenpo workout today and am going to do the stretching routine when I get home after the girls game. Thats all for now.

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2010 things to do

Last night on the way home I was thinking of some of the things I want to accomplish this year that I didn't get to last year. 

I want to go to a cavs game this year, hopefully I can make it out to Indianapolis at the end of january here when they host the cavs game. I have been to the pacers arena before but not to see a cavs game. I wouldn't be able to call myself much of a cavs fan if I haven't been to an actual game in over two years. 

I also listened to some country music last night and decided who my favorite male artist is nowadays. Brad Paisley is good, but to many of his songs are jokey. Kenny Chesney is good also, but most of his popular songs are about drinking. My favorite artist is Dierks Bentley. I seen him a couple of years ago when he played at the bell festival and thought he was good. His long road alone song almost makes me cry and he has some other fun songs to have fun to also. I may have to wait to see Dierks play for a while. His official site and ticketmaster don't have him doing anything soon. 

I am also considering going to see the dave matthews band this summer. I can't name very many of his songs but all I ever see on dating sites is that girls are fans of his. So I need to get myself to a concert of his to form my own opinion. It looks like I might be able to catch him in louisville at the end of july, but that is a dicey time for farming. It also looks like he is in louisville in early february also. Hold on that is a tribute band might be still be a reason to get out of the house. 

I also need to see some plays. One group that I wanted to see ever since I heard of them is avenue Q. Other than that I may just browse the schedules and see what sounds interesting. 

I should also include a visit to the cincinnati mueseum of natural history also. I have seen the natural history part before, but really would like to go back to the cincy history part of that museum. I remember going through that place once and really liked it. 

Well those are the action items that I was able to think of off of the top of my head. I will probably find some more entertaining things to do as the year goes on. 

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Psalms

Well I finally barreled down and read through what I had left of the book of Psalms today. At first I wasn't sure what to think of the book. The I realized that part of a catholic mass is reading Psalms every service. Then I started to see them more and more where I hadn't realized before. Before I made this connection I had wondered how they came up with a new set of items to read every week. It never occurred to me that what was being read that week was from the Bible. Now I pay more attention to what is being said. I also now pay more attention to the other reading and what the preacher reads from the main homily. I never did like following along in the sermon guides, I preferred to try and listen the best I could to the speakers when they were up at the podium. I did recognize some of the more famous of the verses, but not very many. I also eventually realized why so many of them were set to music. I kept scratching my head at that at first.

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Gas woes

In 2008 I decided to start saving my reciepts after gassing up my truck. I don't remember how many I kept or threw away but I did save enough to show that I spent at least 2400 dollars and spent about 60 bucks a fill up. I had 39 reciepts on my spreadsheet. This year I did somethign similar. In 2009 I saved about 47 reciepts and spent about 2200 dollars. The average fill up cost me 46 dollars in 2009. So a quick comparison reveals a couple of things. First, overall I spent less on gas this year with more fillups. I also spent a fair amount of money both years. The average fill up cost me more than forty dollars. Sometimes driving a truck with a 24 gallon tank that gets about 13 miles to a gallon is not very economical. I am a farmer though and the convenience of a truck far outweights a small 4 cylinder car engine. I would consider buying a car, but would really like to have a garage first. I should also probably pay off my house before I put a garage in also.

Ultimately though, I always want to drive a pickup truck. Mainly because I have heard that there is something women like about a pickup man.

Puppy training is also going well. My sister lectured me on the finer points of dog training the other night and I have implemented some of them. They are on their third dog to train now and she had some good advice. I have Walter pissing on the mats if he has to go inside. I also have Walter pissing outside often also. I have started to ration Walters food and he slept in his cage in my kitchen last night. The only consistent issue is him dropping dueces at this point. He will got outside but I have to spend about ten minutes outside before Walter finds a spot good enough to drop dueces on. My sister said I should just take him out a half hour after he eats and that should train him well. That is the reason I am rationing his food. Walter is going to learn that he gets feed at a certain time and then is expected to "potty" outside within an hour.

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Hooray Buckeyes!

Well the buckeyes finally got the win they have been looking for. The past couple of years I have gotten so depressed after the bowl games that I did something drastic. I ordered a DVD of the fiesta bowl where we actually won one and watched that a couple of times. The next time I watch it now it won't be for a pick me up, it will be to remember the good times from that game.

Also,  LOLcopter, the "at least the bearcats don't choke" bearcats are choking tonight. That game ought to shut up the UC fans who became UC football fans after they won a couple of games. The thing that really gets me about those fans is that no one wanted anything to do with them when they played in the conference USA. All of a sudden they win a couple of games and want to talk with the big boys. ROFLcopter indeed. I can respect the basketball fans of UC because they followed the team when they weren't in the best conference. The football fans are a different bunch though. Its like only rooting for a son or daughter because they are successful. I don't go around blowing my horn about only OSU teams that win games. I am pro-OSU everytime, all the time.

Highballs

Last night I celebrated the new year at my sister and brother in laws house. I kept the drinking to a reasonable level, there is still some jack in my pint bottle that I started the night with. I drank something I call a high ball, which last night was 7UP and jack daniels. I never really got a big swig of jack at one time, I really never did pour much in my glass. I drank from about 9 until 3 and still had some left this morning. I haven't had much of hangover today either. I laid down on a couch at about 4 and tried to sleep until about 8. Then I made it home before ten and slept a little more. Now I just have to start my sobriety streak over again. There won't be any real holidays coming up soon, so I won't feel any pressure to drink.

Two years ago at this party I drank an entire bottle of champagne that I brought after the ball dropped. I bought the bottle and didn't really think it should go to waste after the celebratory toast, so I drank it all in about an hour. Then I threw up and called it a night.

I also got to witness a group of people playing rock band last night. While I can appreciate getting a group of friends together to play a music theme game, I think I would rather spend my time practicing my banjo than playing such a game. I did like the song list and thought the game could be fun.

I also got to see or read the lyrics to radioheads creep last night. I have heard the song before, but maybe I should make that song my anthem or something. Most of the lyrics seemed to apply to me. I am kind of a weirdo to most people and don't really feel I belong anywhere.

I also saw something really weird. One of my sisters friends was engaged to a guy once. He called off the engagement and had a date the next day. He has several DUI's and not a real clean record. She apparently took him back and they were both there together last night. I can't really speak for the conditions of their companionship, but it just doesn't sit right with me. She got dumped by him after he thought he was going to play the field. He managed to get back in her good graces. I really have to wonder why I am not in a relationship when people like that can be.

I have also come to another conclusion. I will probably never have this situation happen, but good planning can't hurt. I don't think I can ever date a girl that considers either one of my brothers an option. Both of them are so much more different than me. They are both really crass and rude at times. They both are more liberal in terms of what they will do or say around a woman. I really don't like being around them some times.

I have also decided that I am going to make an effort to go to the buckeyes bowl game next year. Unless I empty out my saving account for the reasons I have ranked, I will take out the money and go. There are only a couple of scenarios where I would have zero dollars in my account so I wouldn't have to worry about money. The one time I went to a bowl game it was the national championship and I really enjoyed it.

times typed "oftern"-0