Quandary

Quandary is when you have doubt or uncertainty about what to do in a situation. I think I am a pretty black or white guy, that likes to put my head forward and keep progressing. I have found that if I wait around for other people, nothing gets done at a rate that satisfies me. When I am dealing with people, I have found that asking leading questions is a great way to make progress. I have not yet decided if my dad and grandpa are indecisive or just never know what they want to do, but it is hard to figure out what they are trying to do without asking a bunch of questions. 

The main quandary that I have in my life is how satisfied I am. Staying with my family and working on the farm does provide some utility for me. However, I wonder if it is enough. I don't know to many farmers that retire. Farmers are land rich and cash poor. My dad and grandpa are very resistant to doing new things a easier way. Farmers have to stay near their land and keep eyes on things. Travel for pleasure is only during slow times. Farmers rely very much on weather. A bad or good year relies too heavily on the amount of rain you get. Farmers don't have a guaranteed salary. You could go years and not make any money. 

A job as a teacher would be fun also. I would be done with classes most days by 3 Pm. I would get to socialize with students and teachers very often. I would have summers off to laze around all I want. I would go to bed early and wake up early in anticipation of knowing what I have to do almost everyday. I may not get paid the a very high salary, but I would learn to make do. Being a figure of the community is fun for me. I didn't decide on education so I could coach sports. I thought it would be a job I could do. However, I have to wonder if I was only a teacher what I would do with all my leisure time. I would hate to go home and not have anything to do until I went to bed. If I had to move far away for that first job, I would not get to enjoy coming home and seeing my family. 

If I get lucky enough, I would be able to do both jobs without very much trouble. I may be more tired at the end of the day, but I think I would enjoy that. I hate doing so little during the day that I can't easily go to sleep. At any rate, I am not getting younger. It seems that I should have established myself as one or the other by now. Being so ambiguous careerwise does not make me comfortable. 

times typed "oftern" -1