What to do

The past three days have been very busy and revealing for me. Lets start with my engagement and marriage thoughts. Me and the vet assistant sat down last night and talked some things over. We both are in wanting of a small wedding. We had to take a break for me to think over how important it was to be married in a church and so forth. I think I want to have my religions blessing on my marriage. I'm confident an anullment will clear up any issues, but don't want being married to the girl I choose to be impeded by such an issue. I was optimistic we could have something official accomplished before our Pittsburgh vacation, but am not sure if things will be rolling enough by then or not.

Farming wise, relations have took a downhill. My grandfather told me I might as well quit farming if I can't listen to his novel non-sensical spoutings and complete them to his liking. My dad has insisted on asking if I am stupid yet again. I can ask my grandpa the simplest thing that I think makes sense, and grandpa acts as if all logic is beyond my comprehension. My mind has settled on I have a college degree and a graduate degree and don't have to listen to them belittle me. As soon as I can find a teaching job just about anywhere, I may be having a new address. I may still have obligations to my landlords for the 2011 crop, but once those are done it might just be a teachers salary and a hard budget for us. For me, the advantages of being my own boss are starting to be outweighed by the advantages of a defined schedule and pay. Why do I need to put up with such incosistent practices and poor attitudes towards mentoring and fostering someone that shows up and helps them everyday.

Because of the recent events, I was reminded of an awesome song that I think is about growing up and learning to be your own person. The song is called "Wind" by akeboshi. I first saw it at the end of the naruto anime and grew to really like it. Wind as in wind a watch, not the wind is blowing.

Cultivate your hunger, before you idealize
Motivate your Anger, to make them all realize
Climbing the mountain, never coming down
break into the contents, never falling down

My knee is still shaking like i was twelve
Sneakin' out the classroom, by the back door
A man railed at me twice, though
But i didn't care
Waiting is wasting, for people like me

Don't try to live so wise,
Don't cry 'cos your so right
Don't dry, with fakes or fears
'cos you will hate yourself in the end

times typed "oftern"-0