Tonight I watched a movie called special where the main character takes medication that removes his self doubt. In this movie, he ends up thinking he has super powers until he pissed the wrong people off and gets a beat down by people he can't see. He then locks himself in a convenience store bathroom, goes through with-drawl and grunts a bunch. Even after the with-drawl, he still walks around saying that people can't tell him to stop. Wasn't a real exciting movie, but I did like it.
This caused me to think about what I would do if I could do anything. If my self doubt was erased what would I do? Would I work more? I already feel pretty confident about the amount of income I have. I don't think I would even want a better job or more work if I didn't have any self doubt. Not many people get the oppurtunity to work this close to their family as I do. Sure they make me angry sometimes, but people I am not related to can just as easily aggravate me. I think I would try to find more land to farm around here, but that will come eventually. I am still young, and all the older farmers around aren't going to want to farm forever. I have found a girl that likes me, so as long as I can maintain that, self doubt isn't really an issue. Once a person has managed to find work and people they enjoy, what more is there to look forward to in life? Maybe one day I will have a family of my own to not have doubts with, but as of now, I feel pretty good about myself. So in effect, self doubt would be good to get rid off, but without self doubt, I don't think I would be doing much different. My life is pretty good when I think over things and I can't think of any situation I would prefer to be in.
times typed "oftern"-0
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